Bigjeeze

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting medical studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 4. The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Olny srmat poelpe can. cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

I have never seen Air bags deployed in this fashion before!!!

Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St.Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven. "Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. Arthur asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?" God said, "Ah, yes." "Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major flaws in your invention. 1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. 2. It chatters constantly at high speeds. 3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much. 4. The intake is placed way to close to the exhaust. And finally, 5. The maintenance costs are outrageous. "Hmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on." God went to his Celestial super computer, typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. "Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours."

A mother passing by her daughter

Tony Blair & David Blunkett were having a drink in a quiet country pub, a local approaches them from the bar, he walks up to them and looks under the tail of Blunketts dog, then walks off again What was that about asked Blair? 10 mins later another local walks up to them, lifts the tail of Blunketts dog to have a look and then walks off "This is very strange" say's Blair Sure enough a short time later another local local walks up to them, lifts the tail of Blunketts dog and Blair say's "excuse me but can I ask what you're doing - you're the third person that's come over here and looked under the tail of this dog?" "Well" say's the local "There's a guy in the bar telling people that there's a dog in the lounge with two arseholes!!"

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I normally grant three wishes, but as there are three of you, I'll give each of you just one wish." "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world." Poof! She's gone. "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life by my side." Poof! He's gone. "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, "I want those two back in the office after lunch." Moral of the story: Always let your boss have the first say.

My God woman!! are you insatiable!!! :D :D Well done :o

You could also carefully try popping the joint at the spindle end- they have the ball & socket type plastic joints. But be careful. Once you have the joint removed you could try moving it using a pair of grips or large pliers until it frees off.

Thanks all I'll try getting the poxy thing out and looking at it - if that doesn't work - Watch your headlights!! :angry:

BigD Try here - http://www.buypartsby.co.uk/wishbone_displ...xt&txtmake=FORD you can look them up inder Seat or VW - it's the same part.

Thanks chaps - Yes sorry it is a Mark 11 - and you are right the headlamps on E bay don't come with the motor. (Well at least the one I found for

Hi My NSF h/lamp tilt motor is u/s :angry: - I took out the headlamp undid the screws but couldn't seem to manoeuvre the motor to get it out. Has anyone any experience of these? Can you buy them easily? If they are too expensive I may just buy a replacement headlamp! :angry:

Sorry have no experience of these :lol: .

Not quite my wife's gal had the renewal at the end of march and was

"Well, Father Dougan said I must turn the other cheek"

This seems like a good place to catch a train - makes you think about that brief encounter!!

Does this mean right hand side ? Please explain !! Nearside means Near the Kerb (UK driving) and off side means the side awat from the kerb - So nearside is left and offside is Right. :lol:

You need to carefully remove the linkage from the bottom of the spindle so as to have something to turn the shaft with. Be careful though because the clips can break if you are clumsy. Once this is off you can try turning the spindle as see if the oil has released it. If it turns keep working it and try pulling the spindle out. Once put yopu can clean it and apply the grease etc before refitting.

Bird Flu??? Do you know where your family are?

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven, where they are met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter. He says "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives, that I'm granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want to be." The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren;" and *poof* she's gone. The second says, "I want to be Madonna;" and *poof* she's gone. The third says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini." St. Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he says. "Sara Pipalini," replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell." The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter. He reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says...."No sister, this says the 'Sahara Pipeline' was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months"

If you were a company called Powergen and you had a subsidiary that operated in Italy, what would you call that company's website? ........... .............. ................... ............... .................... .................... ............ .............. .................. .................. ............................... ................... Probably not http://www.powergenitalia.com ............ ................... ................... But they did.

A young boy went up to his father and asked: "What is the dfference between potentially and realistically?" The father pondered for a while, then answered: "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars. Also, ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you have learned." So the boy went to his mother and asked: "Mum, would you sleep with Robert Redford for a million dollars?" The mother replied: "Of course I would. I wouldn't pass up an opportunity like that." The boy then went to his older sister and said: "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied "Oh gosh!! I would just love to do that! I would have to be nuts to pass up that opportunity!!". The boy then thought about it for two or three days and went back to his dad. His father asked him: "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes, potentially we're sitting on two million dollars, but realistically we're living with two slappers." The father replied, "That's my boy!"

Top 20 Reasons why Fishing is better than sex: 20 - No matter how much whiskey you have, you can still fish. 19 - A limp rod is still useful while fishing. 18 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines. 17 - It is perfectly acceptable to pay a professional to Fish with you once in a while. 16 - The Ten Commandments don't say anything about Fishing. 15 - If your partner takes pictures or videotapes of you fishing, you don't have to worry about them showing up on the Internet if you become famous. 14 - Your Fishing partner doesn't get upset about people you fished with long ago. 13 - It's perfectly respectable to Fish with a total stranger. 12 - When you see a really good Fisherperson, you don't have to feel guilty about imagining the two of you Fishing together. 11 - If your regular Fishing partner isn't available, he/she won't object if you Fish with someone else. 10 - Nobody will ever tell you that you will go blind if you fish by yourself. 9 - When dealing with a Fishing pro, you never have to wonder if they are really an undercover cop. 8 - You don't have to go to a sleazy shop in a seedy neighbourhood to buy Fishing stuff. 7 - You can have a Fishing calendar on your wall at the office, tell Fishing jokes, and invite co-workers to Fish with you without getting sued for harassment. 6 - There are no Fishing-transmitted diseases. 5 - If you want to watch Fishing on television, you don't have to subscribe to the Playboy channel. 4 - Nobody expects you to Fish with the same partner for the rest of your life. 3 - Nobody expects you to give up Fishing if your partner loses interest in it. 2 - You don't have to be a newlywed to plan a vacation primarily to enjoy your favourite activity. 1 - Your Fishing partner will never say, "Not again? We just fished last week! Is fishing all you ever think about?

Well what's the latest? :lol: