Bigjeeze

It's called VAG.COM and you get it from Ross Tech - they're on the web.

Probably...but you can substitute whatever you like to get the job done! :o

It probably depends on what triggers your asthma. If asthma is triggered by stress - stopping smoking is stressful - = asthma. Perhaps you should try the patches etc - or just ask your quack. I think it goes without syaing that you will be better off not smoking - even if you asthma does get a bit worse for a while. Why not try doing some boring repetitive taks like plucking a hamster hair by hair - worked for me! :o

Little Johnnie's neighbour had a baby. Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears. When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie's family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie's dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby's missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home. Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely. When Johnnie looked in the crib he said, "What a beautiful baby." The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnnie. Johnnie said, "He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see?" "Yes", the mother replied, "we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision." "That's great", said Little Johnnie, "coz he'd be f&!*%d if he needed glasses".

It's common practice to ring a telephone by signalling extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and earth in England. When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signalled without disturbing each other. Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone engineer proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialled the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone. Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found: a. A dog was tied to the telephone system's earth post via an iron chain and collar. b. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current. c. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground. d. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring. Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.

OK as Bleeno has lowered the tone! This reminds of the Doctor doing his rounds and trying to write up the patients notes when he realises his pen is in fact a suppository - He takes a look and says "Oh sod it - some bums got my pen!"

Hi Swifty - not totally true as they have the same engine numbers regardless of type (only refers to diesels) so your VW garage can supply - However why not try GSF as they do equally good parts and are not so pricey. Cheers BJ

My parents told me about Mr. Common Sense early in my life and told me I would do well to call on him when making decisions. It seems he was always around in my early years but less and less as time passed by. Today I read his obituary. Please join me in a moment of silence in remembrance, for Common Sense had served us all so well for so many generations. Obituary Common Sense Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm, life isn't always fair, and maybe it was my fault. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not children are in charge). His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job they themselves failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer Aspirin, sun lotion or a sticky plaster to a student, but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband and churches became businesses. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar can sue you for assault. Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by three stepbrothers; I Know my Rights, Someone Else is to Blame, and I'm a Victim. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.

I don't know - but personally I find it all a pain in the arse.

The teacher asked the class to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Molly put up her hand and said, "My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep. It was fascinating." The teacher said, "That was good, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate, not fascinating". Sally raised her hand. She said,"My family went to see Rock City and I was fascinated." The teac her said, "Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word "fascinate." Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word "fascinate", so she called on him. Johnny said, "My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight." The teacher sat down and cried.

Not a happy bunny - It seems to me that the spirit of free enterprise has gone awry - we are being fleeced with no hope of a respite - The price of fuel is ridiculous but those sanctimonious sods in Government are just pursuing their own warped agenda. I think we needed labour after 18 years of the tories - well we have nbow had enough of labour! Lets see whose turn it is to bugger up everything!

I hired a brand new Vectra (oil Burner- Auto) in Edinburgh - really very nice - but too low down after the Gal.

I have been around but not doing too much talking!. The Tickers still ticking - Edinburgh was great - dodgy landing - Ryanair will probably need some new undercart after the thud at prestwick - but all in all apart from the pissing rain and the force 10 gale it was good - oh and the fact that I only met 2 scots people in the 2 days I was there - everyone esle was either English or Eastern European.

Have you tried calling him Ratty to test his responses? Also see if he has a plague licence.

Thank you all very much - I am off to Edinburgh later in my oil burning 737! Not very good on consumption but at an average 550mph beats the crap out of those V6's!

Husband and wife are shopping in Tesco's when the man picks up a crate of Stella and sticks them into the trolley 'What do you think you're doing?' asks the wife 'They're on offer, only

Something wrong here - I can't post

I've been around - but I have been slightly unwell - and what with Hospital visits and work haven't had as much time to appear here as usual. I do try and look in every day now. I also have a new hobby (apart from keeping the Gals going) - I've taken up Clay Pigeon shooting so I spend most Saturdays blasting the crap out of little flying saucers!! Do we still have use of the chat room? I often look but no one appears to be there? Hope you are all well. BJ

I have managed to blow a 5 amp fuse for the side light on my Galaxy - I thought no problem I 'll just replace it - However it isn't a normal fuse it is quite a lot smaller than the regular type - I haven't seen these before and after looking through my extensive stock couldn't find any. Are they a standard item?

Try this mate http://www.fordgalaxy.org.uk/ford/index.ph...hl=half%20shaft

I too would like to know how to remove the vents - My phone bracket broke the trim edging - The Fraud delaer says it is a complete item and costs

By not being over protective and worrying about them too much. There were always perverts and bullies etc out there - Common sense is all they need - plus the ability to shout for help and the nous to kick someone in the balls when necessary.

Check the service schedlue - I think it is 4 years or 60,000 miles - But i am sure someone will have the correct detail.

How many of you men out there want to put on a ten gallon hat, learn to play a guitar and go on tour after watching this clip???? http://www.miloop.se/film_view.aspx?mm=5&movie=9108

Most of us now are affected by the recent announcements or and actual price rises for Gas & Electricity. But, like me, are you sceptical of the fact that they reduced prices last year immediately winter was over and lo & behold they are putting them up again just in time for the heaviest use period. Of course Ofgem sasy there is no collusion it is in fact market forces. Well is it?