Bigjeeze

edited, posted yesterday and was also removed along with comments.

If someone doesn't like jokes about a particular nationality or ethnic minority then the asnwer is to be eslewhere.

Now you'll be thinking it was too cheap!!!

Hi Barry Don't know whether you ever got this sorted but if not see this set of posts http://www.fordgalaxy.org.uk/ford/index.ph...=13963&st=0

Thanks Tiny It works OK -I was just wondering - You've convinced me !!

I would say you do. There is a very common fault on Galaxys whereby the spindles of the wiper mechs lose or don't have any lubrication. They are chromed spindles but this seems to wear off and they seize - Usually the first signs of this are the wipers travelling slowly or stopping short of their normal travel. I had this on my MK2 - about 2 years ago and just recently again. In fact I removed the wiper mech yesterday and re greased them using coppa slip as the grease I used before seems to have all gone. My right hand wiper no longer travelled all the way over to the edge. After taking it out and re greasing all is well. The problem is if you don't do something about it you will burn out the motor and then you have a large bill to pay . Do a search this has been covered extensively.

Can someone tell me if I have the correct battery? My battery is definitely a lead one complete with PB symbol - Yet my handbook insists it should be Calcium (Ca) It's a 2001/2 Mk2 TDi. If it is incorrect it could have been fitted by a garage yet I had had the thing from new and don't remember any faults witht the battery. Any ideas?

It does need to be off the ground - I use ramps but I have also just jacked it up and used Axle stands. There are 4 10mm bolts either side and two 10mm nuts underneath. Once you have it safely raised it is quite easy.

When my Air con pipe developed a leak the first thing I noticed was the fans NOT coming on - Once I had it re gassed (after fitting a new pipe) the fans re started. So I think it may be as the OP have said and not the fans or switches at all.

Noticed that whilst my aircon works fine the heating doesn't!. Doesn't matter how I adjust the controls it stays cold. Temp gauge reads normal, no fluid leaks - levels fine but no heat. Could it be flaps? Any ideas?

Went to France on Friday - Went via the chunnel to Calais then drove down to Mont St Michel - had a look - stayed a couple of nights and drove back again. Arrived home having completed 998 miles. Averaged 42mpg - (mainly keeping to Frog speed limit of 80mph). Diesel was 1.28 per litre (Euro's) roads were quiet, clear and well signposted with lots of stopping points. This morning I drove from MSM to Calais - took around 4 hours - little traffic nice drive. Got off the train at Folkestone traffic all the way home - roads chokka. Now I know why they are such smug bastards!!!

If there is a leak you will have to find and fix it before going on. Do a search there is a huge amount of posts on Air Con on this site - If you have a MK2 check the condenser - look for the pics which show you how to spot the leak that hardly any garages are able to find. Good luck

Part of me wants to decry this as a form of racism - But I can't because it is essentially true. How sad this country of ours has become.

What's the ideal weight for a mother-in-law? About 2.3 pounds including the urn. What had 3 legs and lived on a farm? The McCartneys ( But really we shouldn't make fun of Macca. After all will he ever find another woman to fill her shoe ? ) I was so depressed last night that I rang the Samaritans. Got through to a call centre in Afghanistan Told them I was suicidal, they got all excited and asked if I could fly a plane...... I parked in a disabled space today and a traffic warden shouted to me... 'Oi, what's your disability?' I said 'Tourettes! Now f##k off you c##t!' A man is in a queue at TescoS and sees this busty blonde staring at him, he can't believe she is staring at him, then she starts waving. 'Excuse me do I know you?' he asks. 'Yes I think you are the father of one of my kids' she says. The man thinks back and remembers his one act of infidelity and says 'F#c#ing hell are you the bird I sh#gged on me stag do, whilst your mate whipped me and your other mate stuck a brush up my ar#e?' 'No' she replies 'I'm your son's English teacher!' I said to the wife, 'I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread today, but when I looked again it said 'Thick Cut' ' What's the difference between Harold Shipman and Tony Blair? Shipman actually did something about NHS waiting lists. Father Duffy walks into the convent and sees sister rose washing the kitchen floor. He's overcome with desire and pushes her onto the ground. As he's sh#gging her the Rev Mother comes in. 'SISTER ROSE!!!' she roars 'Have some respect. Arch your back girl and keep Father Duffy's b#lls off the wet floor!!' A man says to his wife 'tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time'. His wife replies 'You've got a bigger di#k than your brother'

You could try rolling over!! Yes its amazing how everything heads south and not just for the winter :unsure: Works well for us blokes though!!

Officer, this is how the fight started..... I rear-ended the car in front of me. I admit that. It was my fault. So, we both pull over to the side of the road, and slowly the driver of the car I hit gets out of his car. . . and you know how you just-get-sooo-stressed...and life... sometimes life seems like...suddenly funny? Well, the driver of the car I hit is a DWARF! He gets out of his car and I get out of my car. He is frowning and scowling and he storms over to me.Right up close at me he looks up in my face and says, "I AM NOT HAPPY!"* And I don't know what possessed me, officer, but I look down at him and I said, "Well, if you're not Happy -- which one are you?" . . . . and that's when the fight started......

If the failed 21/7 bombers had just waited three more days, we'd all be calling them the 24/7 bombers. This would imply that they blow things up all day every day and, despite their actual lack of success, make them at least sound like they were good at bombing. Christina Martin, London I just saw a van drive by with the company name 'Seafood Solutions'. I must admit, I didn't know seafood was a problem. Martin Kristos It is said that gentlemen prefer blondes. I hope then that lesbians prefer brunettes, otherwise we might have to organise some kind of rota system. Johnny Pring I'm beginning to think there may be something in this climate change after all. Four months ago it was very cold and now it's quite warm. Alan Heath A woman whose daughter was hospitalised in a US tornado told ITV News that "God would make her better." presumably, that's a different God from the one that almost killed her with a tornado. M Lovejoy "She can dish it out, but she cannot take it", I once heard someone say of me. And it's true - I'm a school dinner lady and I'm allergic to mashed potatoes. Mrs Pinches, Hereford I heard on the news that the January storms had cost this country a billion pounds. What an utter waste of money. If anything, they did more harm than good. S Prodnipple, Scarborough So Princes Harry and William are throwing a party to celebrate the 10th anniversary of their mother's death. I'm glad that they can finally laugh about it, but throwing a party seems a bit harsh. D Antarctica , Rhyll I think Sir Paul McCartney should try to put his current predicament into perspective. In olden days, if you were unfortunate enough to be robbed by an omniped, it would almost certainly be a pirate. At least he's going to come out of this alive. Stella Matlock What is it with diabetics? One minute they're on the floor with a loved one standing by screaming "Give him some chocolate! Give him some chocolate!" The next day someone offers them a piece of chocolate and quick as a flash they say "No thanks, I'm diabetic." I wish they'd get their story straight. T Potter Yesterday I received an e-mail from a bored housewife looking for some action. Eager to please the young lady I sent her my ironing. That should keep her quiet for a while. Warren THIS new police knife amnesty is a bloody nightmare. I dutifully handed all my knives in and now I've got nothing to eat my dinner with. Richard Karslake, Oxfordshire TO THE zookeeper in 1978 who replied "I'll tell you when you're older" when I asked him why one of the monkeys stuck its tongue up another one's arse: I'm 36 now and still waiting for that explanation. Joe McKeown I HAVE just returned from a diplomatic trip to the Congo and I can testify that at no point did I see anyone drinking Um Bongo. Neil Palmer I'M A terrorist, and when ID cards come into force I will probably employ great cunning and not declare that as my job. I'll probably say I'm a grocer or something. A Terrorist WHY DON'T NHS bosses start hiring obsessive compulsives as nurses? Their attention to hygiene and constant hand washing would see an end to MRSA outbreaks in no time. Stu Bray ' Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. Colum Hill 'Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak', sang Thin Lizzy in 1976, 'somewhere in this town'. Well, I'm guessing it's going to be at the prison. Raymond

George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. 'I don't know what to do here,' says the devil. 'You're on my list but I have no room for you, but you definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got 3 people here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves.' George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room. In it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. 'No!' George said. 'I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long.' The devil led him to the next room. In it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. 'No! I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!' commented George. The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton lying naked on the floor with his arms staked over his head and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, 'Yeah, I can handle this.' The devil smiled and said.... 'Monica, you're free to go!'

Old man back from Thailand with his new Thai bride. Lying in bed, the Thai bride is playing with his manhood, slowly up and down, and the old boy says "You must love that, you haven't left it alone, since we got back." The bride replies, "Not really, I just miss mine."

In a recent interview, General Norman Schwartzkopf was asked if he thought there was room for forgiveness toward the people who have harboured and abetted the terrorists who perpetrated the 9/11 attacks on America. His answer was classic Schwartzkopf: 'I believe that forgiving them is God's function. OUR job is to arrange the meeting.

If it hasn't had an oil change recently then that might be a good starting point, followed by a new Air filter. As for the injectors maybe an injector cleaner may help. Rattly noises could be anything and nothing - If the aux belt is making a noise then you need to ascertain what exactly is making the noise - it may be nothing or it may be the tensioner. The MK1 diesel is a solid engine so it's hopefully nothing too serious.

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD AND DON'T MOVE FAST ANYMORE. George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi was going up to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the police, who asked 'Is someone in your house?' and he said 'no'. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be along when available. George said, 'Okay,' hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. 'He llo, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them.' Then he hung up. Within five minutes six police cars, a SWAT Team, a helicopter, two fire trucks, a paramedic and an ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence and caught the burglars red-handed . One of the Policemen said to George: 'I thought you said that you'd shot them!' George said, 'I thought you said there was nobody available!'

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says: '7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.' The white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.. The big guy says: 'What's wrong with you?' In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?' The big dude says: 'I saw your look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks. I'm 7 feet tall. I weigh 350 pounds. I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weigh 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown.' The small guy says: 'Turner Brown. Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, 'Turn around.'

Go on then tell us! When you do shut up! Well done Maz sounds like a good un - But I do have a criticism to make - Your signature still says Veccy!!!

Might be a good idea to do a poll on this one!! I can't beleive the twisting sods have jacked the gals into the higher band based on their age - Both of mine have a co2 levle of 178 which isn't too bad at all -This is just another revenue raising exercise by our Scottish mafia. Not only scottish but also mostly bloody lawye. Have a look at the cabinet- out of 18 ministers 9 are Lawyers, and 11 are Scots - ( I have nothing against the Scots). What a bunch of low life robbing two faced shirt lifting rear end shunting no goods!