Bigjeeze

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt? We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt!' Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way. Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse. Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt. Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt,' you can correct them. Sincerely, Crock O. Schitt

http://www.slide.com/r/IkB-wnbi7D9zQEjmzxtxHfSkv4bRfjlB

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of the theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THE STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

I can see why the ladies might lap this one up! I'm licked!

Why not check the drain scuttles - It may help. Do a search - But basically you need to remove the inner mudguards on the front to access the drain points. If this is a recent phenomenon then it does point to something other than a design fault. The Air Con will assist greatly in removing condensation - but if there is a source - then that has to be eliminated first. If there is no obvious soruce of damp such as a washer hose etc then go for the scuttle drains.

The drunk is worse He/she doesn't know they are driving badly - so they are likely to do more damage. There is NO excusing drinking and driving - and the sooner we lower our limit to zero the happier I'll be. I have never understood why we excuse people who do stupid or criminal things when under the influence of alcohol - they are only under the influence because of a choice they made to drink in the first place. Alcohol is n excuse for crime - the intent is there they just need their inhibtions lowering - or dutch courage as it used to be called. LOCK EM ALL UP!!!

If it is a Bosch filter - and I am sure it should be - the drain is a white plastic wheel on the bottom of the filter.

If you look on the bottom of the filter you will find the water drain .

Oh i can vouch for that..they are most def not fake :unsure: Now how do you know that? Oooh the mind boggles!!! :P

On a serious note I agree totally with Tiny- If you don't vote you have no basis for complaint - In fact I'd go further and say that you are more likely to cause the wrong party to get in by not voting. We need to change the voting system to a total number of per party votes cast rather than the current constituency system. It amazes me that less than half of the voting population can bring in a majoirty Government. Mind you the Politicians have no interest in changing this as it is they who benefit most.

How many of these have come from Scotland? :unsure: :22: :P

Maybe Gregers man boobs are a fake as well!

The law is quite clear - you must allow another driver to overtake you - safely - You must not increase your speed to prevent him doing so. The issue is that whether or not you are in the right - the fact is Driver A made it impossible to overtake safely - so you simply shouldn't. You must retuen behind him and carry on. When you get to a point where he has to stop you then jump out and kick his F***** head in!!!

Ooooooowwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Good luck

That's right - it was an option - I have dual Air con - you can see three vents for he first row of seats and two for he rear ones. The unit is placeed over the nearside rear wheel - and there is a condensate drain there -behind the rear wheel. The Booster heater is in front of the wheel (If you have a diesel)

A tourist walked into a Brighton curio/antique shop. After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze Statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he decided to buy it anyway. He took it to the owner and said: "How much is this bronze rat?" The owner replied: "It's

A woman, standing nude, looks in the bedroom mirror and says to her husband, "I feel horrible, I look fat and ugly. Pay me a compliment." The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

I think you mean misdirected them - But don't forget the Judge can direct the Jury but they still have the right to find the defendant guilty if they so wish - Then the Judge would declare a mistrial and they would do it all again. This is one of the real issues with a Jury trial - it is adversarial - This means that the best man will win - So a crap prosecutor and a sh*t hot defence Lawyer can get you off - It isn't always about right or wrong. The other problem is that most people are conditioned by the media to believe the Police are always lying or that the criminal (alleged!) is there by a tragic mistake - or they see the crime as not serious - or much much worse they don't like the thought of being responsible for putting someone in Gaol. If you get the chance to do Jury service - do it - it is a real education. Juries are a mistake - your case should be heard by dispassionate impartial legally trained panel's who can find you guilty or not under the law and then allow the lawyers to mitigate in defence to reduce sentence or otherwise. The system favours the rich.

Thats because Judges and Lawyers "practice" law - there is no black & white - it's always up for debate or discussion . Thats because Lawyers make the laws.

Might sound unlikley - but have you tired the Brake light switch? it does seem to cause a lot of problems - usually totally unrelated.

I would be interested to hear the solution to this one. I have often read that pushing the piston back in too far or too fast, causes the seals to invert - but if that is the case why does the pedal pump up fine when the engine isn't running? Surely the problem would be there regardless of the engine running as it has an hydraulic issue? Could it be something to with the ABS system? maybe it has air in it or a valve in that is not seated properly?

What beggars belief is that a Judge is considered wise and worldly! Judges are just old lawyers - all of whom spend their life twisting words and perverting the English language with the sole intention of winning what is in reality an argument over the meaning or otherwise of some words that were drafted by a lawyer in the first place. Thye live a different life to most people - they believe they are better than the rest of us - They think that the winning of an argument about the meaning of words regardless of the pain , hurt and agony it causes is what Law is all about. A more twisted , immoral, amoral grasping set of bigoted hypocrites you could not find. Not that I personally have any problem with them you understand. Have you ever noticed that the bulk of our MP's are lawyers? See?

Doctor Doctor I can't stop singing The Green Green Grass of home - is that normal - "It's not unusual!"

I went on it without my trousers - Now I know why they call underpants shreddies!!