Bigjeeze

I agree - but, I feel that as these costs are rising due to external influences such as the cost of materials etc, that our wonderful Government won't be able to usethis as a band wagon to jump on , then I can see a lot more people geting rid of their cars. This will probably achieve what This Gov has been pretending to do - make people aware of the environmental costs involved in motoring in today's world. I would love to shaft all the Opec countries by saying "keep your oil" but it ain't gonna happen. I for one will look carefully at getting rid of one of my cars - it just doesn't cost in any more to have two - So Mrs BJ will have to get the bus :lol: as I need my car for work. It does get a little painful when you don't get any change out of

2. A Coffin

Can one of these retro kits be fitted to my 1997 TDi GLX?

Where was your Mum in 1973?

For the high-milage Chairman of BT (that's BJ to you and me) a diesel makes sound financial sense. Oi!!! Thats your bill up by another 50%!!! Now up to 129K on my Mk2 - still going strong!!

Sorry to hear that Kev Hope it works out for you. Maybe you'll win the rollover this week!!

You are right - Please see the local Cabling system - talk about an overloaded DP! Cabled.bmp

A chap goes to the Council for a job. The interviewer asks him - "Have you been in the armed services?" Yes" he says "I was in the Falklands for three years." The interviewer says "That will give you extra points toward employment" and then asks "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says "Yes 100%... a land mine blew my testicles off." The interviewer tells the guy "OK.I can hire you right now. The hours are from 8:00 AM . to 4:00 PM . You can start tomorrow. Come in at 10:00AM ." The guy is puzzled and says "If the hours are from 8:00AM to 4:00 PM why do you want me to come in at 10:00 AM? " "This is a council job" the interviewer replies. "For the first two hours we sit around scratching our balls...no point in you coming in for that........."

Couldn't find them - Are they still there?

Does anyone know where I can get screw in grease nipples? (no jokey answers please!!) I want to put some into the spindles on my wipers so that I can just give them a squirt of grease every 6 months or so. I had to take out my linkages and re grease them a few weeks a go - despite having been done a few years before that. I used ordinary grease the first time but this time I used coppa slip. If I had grease nipples the probelm would go away.!!

Had my cam belt done yesterday - Bought the kit from GSF

I wondered why the baseball appeared to be getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was accidentally cut off? He's all right now.

I know a place where dead batteries are given out free of charge

In a Survey 98% of all scousers said they enjoyed sex in the shower, the other 2% haven't been to prison yet !

I've got a mate who drinks brake fluid. but he's ok,..... he can stop at anytime :wacko:

Two old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives. When it's clear that Joe is dying, Mike visits him every day. One day Mike says, 'Joe, we both loved rugby all our lives, and we played rugby on Saturdays together for so many years. Please do me one favour, when you get to Heaven, somehow you must let me know if there's rugby there.' Joe looks up at Mike from his death bed, 'Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible, I'll do this favour for you.' Shortly after that, Joe passes on. At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him, 'Mike... Mike.' 'Who is it?' asks Mike, sitting up suddenly, 'Who is it?' 'Mike-- it's me, Joe.' 'You're not Joe. Joe just died.' 'I'm telling you, it's me, Joe,' insists the voice.' Joe!! Where are you?' 'In heaven', replies Joe. 'I have some really good news and a little bad news.' 'Tell me the good news first,' says Mike. 'The good news,' Joe says,' is that there's rugby in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play rugby all we want, and we never get tired.' 'That's fantastic,' says Mike. 'It's beyond my wildest dreams! So what's the bad news?' 'You're in the team for Tuesday.'

At the end of a tiny deserted pub sits a huge Liverpudlian, 6 ft 5 and built like a brick ****house. He's having a few beers when a short, well-dressed and obviously gay man minces in and sits beside him. After three or four beers the gay fellow finally plucks up the courage to say something to the big Scouser. Leaning over towards him, he whispers, 'Doyou want a blow-job?' At this the massive Scouser leaps up with fire in his eyes and smacks the man in the face, knocking him swiftly off the stool. He proceeds to beat him all the way out of the pub before leaving him bruised and battered in the car park and returning to his seat. Amazed, the barman quickly brings over another beer. 'Hey, calm down, calm down. I've never seen you react like that,' he says, 'just what did he say to you?' 'I'm not sure,' the big Scouser replied. 'Something about a job...'

A man awoke from an operation, where he was supposed to have had a hernia operation. The doctor said to him, "I'm afraid we have some bad news Mr.Jones. Another Mr.Jones was due to have a full sex change operation, and we have mixed him up with you" The man looked under the blanket, and sure enough, all his 'bits' were gone. "Does that mean that I will never see another erection again"? he asked. "Oh You'll see one" said the doctor, "But it won't be yours!"

I just replaced the two rears on mine

Ukranian you say? How do you get to the Ukraine from here?

I think that Gornod and his cronies are actually pushing hard for Scots Independence whilst trying to make it seem like its the SNP. I think that devolution (both Wales & Scotland) whilst giving the people a much needed voice has done absolutely nothing else and has cost us all far too much. I also think that the fuel price rises could have been better managed. Firstly by removing the percentage based calculation and replacing it with a fixed amount - that would a) prove that the Gov isn't just taking advantage of price rises) and :lol: ameliorate the rises somewhat and at least push the rises back onto the fuel companies. The continual exploitation of the public by the main Utilities - Gas Leccy and Water - all of whom are jumping on the band wagon and kicking us while we are down. The Government should look at buying them back into public ownership. Plus all of the comments from the OP's

What do you think - was it just the 10p tax or was it something more that gave NuLab such a pasting?

Why We Love Children 1. A nursery school pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. 'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil. 'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently. 'You did WHAT?' the teacher exclaimed in surprise. 'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst' and it didn't move' 2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....' 'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring a drink of water?' 'No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad.....' 'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??' ' I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to smack you!!' Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....' 'WHAT!' 'When you come in to smack me, can you bring a drink of water?'! ! ! ! ! 3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him 'How do you expect to get into Heaven?' The boy thought it over and said, 'Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'' 4. One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, 'Mummy, will you sleep with me tonight?' The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. 'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.' A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: 'The big sissy.' 5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the minister leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?' The little girl replied, directly into the minister's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mum says it's a bitch to iron.' 6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my th! ! ! ! ! ree year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.' 'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?' 7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?' The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?' After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.' 8. One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, '.... and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, 'The sky is falling, the sky is falling!' The teacher paused then asked the class, 'And what do you think that farmer said?' One little girl raised her hand and said, 'I think he said: 'Shit! A talking chicken!'' The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes. 9. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must s! ! ! ! ! ay, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.' The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?' She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.' 10. A little girl asked her mother, 'Can I go outside and play with the boys?' Her mother replied, 'No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough.' The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?

No I wouldn't recommend. I was following a link in mumof4's link which took me to youtube - I viewed the crashtest stuff and saw the link I posted - I thought it was jokey and that's why I posted it - In my innocence I hadn't realised it may have offended someone or caused some sort of problem. I thought it was funny.

Did I do something wrong? I was just commenting on the sorry state of "another" site - I didn't realise that was not allowed. Perhaps a note to explain what I did would assist.