greg_68

:huh: :huh: :lol: :huh: :lol: :lol: :lol: B) :huh: B) :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: I told you SK, everyday you give me a laugh (can't remeber the last time my ribs ached like that) Boy what I would have given to be white van man. I wish I'd saved reading that till tomorrow morning cuz that would have really made my day. Isn't it ironic that these are both posted in customising your Galaxy? SK you weren't in Milton Keynes a while back were you? Is this you SK?

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

oh don't do that it's the only bit of having a V6 that makes it worthwhile.

A wife decides to take her husband to a strip club for his birthday. They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh, no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "She's in the Ladies' Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them." A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book. The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."

At the end of a long crime fighting day, Superman decides he needs to relax for a few hours, so he rings spiderman to see if he'd like to go out for a drink. Spiderman replies "No, I have to repair my web spinner." So, Superman rings a few more of his super hero friends and they're all busy. He decides in the end to go for a quick super-fly around the world to clear his mind before bed time. As he passes over Wonder-Woman's mansion he sees her lying naked and spread eagle next to her pool. Hmmm he thinks, with my super powers I'll fly down for a quickie and before she realizes I'll be gone. So he swoops down and "WHAM BAM thank you maam" and he's gone. Wonder- Woman shreiks "What was that?" And the invisible man cries "I don't know, but I've sure got a sore ass!!!"

An office manager arrives at his department and sees an employee sitting behind his desk totally stressed out. He gives him the advice, "I went home every afternoon for two weeks and had my wife give me a blowjob. It was fantastic and it really helped, you should try it too!" Two weeks later when the manager arrives at his department he sees the man happy and full of energy at his desk. The faxes are piling up and the computer is running at full speed. "I see you followed my advice?" "I did", answers the employee, "It was great! By the way I didn't know you had such a nice house!".

A man is tired of his wife and decides to have her bumped off. He meets the hitman in the local and over a pint they discuss the method of killling. "Exaclty how do you do it" asks the husband. "One shot just below the left breast works everytime" replies the hitman. "I said I want her dead not kneecapped".

pmsl. :huh: :P :P ;) What about swapping the 2 over if the garage doors not badly damaged. I can always rely on someone to brighten my day on here. It's probably of no comfort to Paul but keep it up. Especially SK who seems to be getting worse. B)

After many hours of hard work their prayers were finally answered.

Where are you mum. I am sure unlees you live in the wilderness someone on here maybe able to help. You may be living next door to me (even tho they don't have a Galaxy or 4 kids so can't be you then) given you location you could be in luck. You certainly aren't the typical wife are you? :) mine would have got me to find a place to get it fixed. :) Of course I would duly oblige. :o

You can also try here http://www.tyretraders.com/index12.html They are apparently the largest internet tyre business and there is an franchise 1/2 mile from my house. ;) Our one is open to bartering as well, quoted me

What did you do then ? sell your wife on Ebay. oops thought it said cackle.

Being watching your posts with great interest mum both prior to and after the test. Hard luck on the last one. One thing I have noticed, generally all the moms at school tend to tell everyone when their test is, then fail it, rebook it don't tell anyone then pass. Maybe just my thoughts but by telling everyman and his dog about your upcoming test do you not think your are piling up the pressure even more when you just don' need it. Try not telling anyone, (my wife didn't even tell me) she said the pressure was so much less because only she knew she was doing it and everybody didn't keep asking how it was going and all that. Just my thoughts.

Thanks Martin, is that the price for Bosch ones? If so I will have them, will contact you via e-mail. Do you happen to deal in leads as well? Cheers.

I need to find out which spark plugs I need to servive me V6. I have done a search and not come up with anyfink. Can anyone tell me which ones I need so I can get on me surfboard and look for some, or does anyone have a cheap place to get them. Cheers.

Patient memo: As from Jan 1st 2006 all drugs must now be prescribed by their medical name. The next time you can't get it up you must ask the doctor for mecocksafloppin

Cheers Rich.

Rich, I am interested in converting my V6 to LPG, and Derbyshire would be not too far to travel to have it done. Do you mind me asking how much yours cost?

Just like his women? :blink:

Right on VR6 you tell em!

This might sound obvious but check none of the windows is slightly ajar.

Jeez, in the grand scheme of things transmitting a signal for 20 feet around your vehicle is hardly crime of the century. Anyone who has never purchased anything dodgy like a copied game or dvd, broken the speed limit (which I consider much more serious, I am hardly likely to kill anyone am I) please leave there name at the end of a very short list. How many people have a copy of the TIS disc from ebay? Please feel free to let me know if you never broken the law and then never got away with it.

For anyone who is interested I have just purchased one of these off ebay and thouroughly recommend them if you want to play your mp3 player/ ipod through the car system. I have had others, but having fixed frequency have always being susceptible to interference, especially with the amount of pirate radio stations around here. This lets you choose any frequency you like. Just a thought for anyone on a tight budget and cannot afford a mp3 car stereo or a multi cd changer. Would also be good for playing the kids portable dvd players through the cars speakers. p.s I have no vested interest in this item. http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Wireless-Stereo-MP3-...1QQcmdZViewItem

A man enters a confessional and says to the Irish Priest, "Father, it has been one month since my last confession. I've had sex with Fannie Green every week for the last month." The priest tells the sinner, "You are forgiven. Go out and say three 'Hail Mary's'." Soon, another man enters the confessional. "Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I have had sex with Fannie Green twice a week for the last two months." This time the priest asks, "Who is this Fannie Green?" "A new woman in the neighborhood," the sinner replies. "Very well," says the priest. "Go and say ten 'Hail Mary's'." The next morning in church, the priest is preparing to deliver his sermon when a gorgeous, tall woman enters the church. All the men's eyes fall upon her as she slowly sashays up the aisle and sits down in front of the Altar. Her dress is green and very short, with matching shiny emerald green shoes. The priest and altar boy gasps as the woman sits down with her legs slightly spread apart, Sharon Stone-style. The priest turns to the altar boy and whisperingly asks, "Is that Fannie Green?" The altar boy replies, "No Father, I think its just the reflection off her shoes."

I don't believe it!!!!! The BBC have just anounced that Gary Glitter is going to be the new Doctor Who He has insisted on 2 trusty sidekicks for the programme. K9 and Stacey who is slightly older, being 11.