paulmpaciorek

.....Oh I so cant wait for this !!!!! Come on Seat the Kid...lets have it....and may the piss takin begin !!!! :lol:

:ph34r: :P well I was gutted about this incident,but now you TW&Ts have cheered me up lol B) .......always look on the bright side etc..... Gregers....I will be taking the dents out othe garage door(I vented my anger on it...now I regret it !!!) as soon as I touch in the gouges lol :huh:

MMMmm not a good day,after removing a couple of layers of skin changing a front side light bulb B) I decieded to go and have a cuppa...so I would close the garage door. Unbeknowing to me the wind had dislodged the garage door from one runner.....I closed it as normal,,,mmmmmm ...it twisted and dropped on the top of my tailgate and left a three inch gouge down to the metal :D .....worse still the door jammed against the tailgate and did another gouge on the upward stroke. Anyone recommend a good quality boot spoiler...probably cheaper to cover said damage than repair !!!!

Two vultures board an aeroplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, "I'm sorry gentlemen, only one carrion per passenger. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Ahmal'. The other goes to a family in Spain; they named him "Juan'. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." These friars were behind on their belfry payments, so the opened up a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. :D

....type maf. into the search but remember to put the dot at the end and all will be revealed.Happy reading :)

Hi I have a problem with my rear driverside electic window. On inspection the wiring loom from B pillar to door is damaged...quite a few wires stretched and breaking. Is there a replacement loom available to buy and does each idividual window have its own fuse and if anyone can tell me what colour wire operates the window I would appreciate it ??? Kindest regards Paul

Drivers side rear window stopped working.Wont work off either switch.There isnt any power getting to the motor as it doesnt dimm the lights when you press either of the buttons as the others do. Firstly i suspected a broken wire as those tight arsed Germans (not very pc I know!!)only give you a minimal amount of wire that isnt suficient. As suspected broken red yellow and a breaking brown wire.Are these the correct wires for the window not working or do I need to look for more damaged wires.Also how does the connector come out of the B pill ar ? Paul

Hello Folks. Can anyone tell me where the Outside Temperature Sensor is. I think mine is playing up.....its saying 11degrees but I know its not that warm ....plus it was saying 10 degrees and it fired the aux heater up...that bloody thing only comes on when it likes :P Paul

......well I have actually spoken to Sukkin Pang when I need support with my Vag-com lead....he was very helpful and I got a certificate with mine and it also works with the latest software. I've used it on two Sharans Mk1 and Mk2....and various VW's with no probs........ :lol:

......all that is left to do is drop it a few mm and fill those arches out with some big rims....

...yes but no but yes but no...it wouldnt be limited to 3,500 rpm......well mine isnt :blink: .....but when the maf was naf it did struggle.....

...sounds like it has encountered a fault and put its self into "limp mode"....or "get you home mode". The reason for this can only be read by Vag-com or similar. A rev limiter seems very unlikely as this would be a little dangerous in an overtaking situation. Paul

......also...

Matt. Have you had your cambelt replaced ? Thats some bill my man :) I have just had a 40k service and cambelt done..cost

.....so now we have all the "intelligent" replies out of the way :lol: ......what do I need to do or where do I look for the cause ?? :wub:

.....I might have guessed that was coming !!!! :(

Hi all. Got a Vag reading with amongst others , this one........ Address 08: Auto HVAC Part No: 7M3 907 049 Component: Klimabetaetigung 0303 1 Fault Found: 01189 - Front Air Distribution Flap Motor (V145) 009 - Open or Short to Ground Anyone know whats up ???? Paul

A little girl asked her mom, "Mom, may I take the dog for a walk around the block?" Mom replies, "No, because she is in heat." "What's that mean?" asked the child. "Go ask your father. I think he's in the garage." The little girl goes to the garage and says, "Dad, may I take Belle for a walk around the block? I asked Mom, but she said the dog was in heat, and to come to you." Dad said, "Bring Belle over here." He took a rag, soaked it with gasoline, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said "OK, you can go now, but keep Belle on the leash and only go one time round the block." The little girl left, and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash. Surprised, Dad asked, "Where's Belle?" The little girl said, "She ran out of gas about halfway down the block, so another dog is pushing her home.

A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in >heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St. Peter. > >He asks the first nun Sister Karen, "Have you ever had any contact with >a penis???" > >The nun giggles and replies, "Well, once I touched the head of One with >the tip of my finger." St Peter says, "OK, dip the tip of your finger in >the holy water and pass through the gate." > > >St Peter asks the next nun the same question Sister Elizabeth have you >ever had any contact with a penis? The nun is a little reluctant but >replies, "Well I once fondled and stroked one." St Peter says, "OK, dip >your hand in the holy water and pass through the gate." > >All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of >nuns. One nun is pushing her way to the front of the line. >When she reaches the front of the line St Peter says, "Sister, >Sister what seems to be the rush???" > > >The nun replies, "If I'm going to have to gargle that holy water, I want >to go before Sister Mary sticks her arse in it!!!" >

Subject: : Difference between Potentially and Realistically.. A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the difference between potentially and realistically?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars." "Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars", and then, ask your brother "if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great U niversity!" The boy then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?!" The boy then went to his brother! and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" "Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?" The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad. His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?" The boy replied, "Yes... potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars.............. but realistically,...... we're living with two sluts and a queer" :unsure:

Sounds like "that old devil called MAF again". Has been covered many times before...put in a search and all will be revealed !!! :angry:

...in memory of the late great Ronnie Barker..... This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though god knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ... -------------------------------------------------------- This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters. Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go. > Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. > Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She > turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with > six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks > > The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight >otherwise, > there would be a cucking falamity. > > At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when > suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said > > Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping > > her slass glipper. > > The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door >and > the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg > > and let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome >hince. > "Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the > stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both >the > sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. > > Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a > knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge > halls and a hig bard on. > > He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking > ferfectly. > > Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince > lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a > follen swanny. > >

John Thanks for your reply.I actually thought it might be a door lock switch...so spayed good old WD40 down the key hole...but no change........so maybe a dodgy wire there somewhere!!!!! :lol:

Hi all. Here's the problem.....................the 1998 Galaxy 2.3 at work has developed a little niggle....When you take the keys out of the ignition the windows come down !? No water under the seat....whats causing this.???....Just another pointer...even before you remove the keys and open the door with the keys still in the ignition...in the off position the windows no longer operate !!! Cheers Paul.