Biscuit

Happy birthday Jkspoff Hope you've had a good 'un Darrel

Have a good day :P ;)

Thanks guys just enjoying a few birthday beers while the bread knife puts the kids to bed once again thanks Darrel

Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, they are met by St. Peter. He says, 'Sisters, you all led such exemplary lives that the Lord is granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you wish to be The first nun says, 'I want to be Sophia Loren;' And *poof* she's gone. The second says, 'I want to be Madonna and *poof* she's gone. The third says, 'I want to be Sara Pipalini..' St. Peter looks perplexed. 'Who?' he ask 'Sara Pipalini,' replies the nun. St. Peter shakes his head and says, 'I'm sorry, but that name just doesn't ring a bell.' The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter . St. Peter reads the paper and starts laughing. He hands it back to her and says. 'No sister, the paper says it was the ' Sahara Pipeline' that was laid by 1,400 men in 6 months.'

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9 year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them, and hides in the bedroom cupboard to watch.. Just after getting into bed the woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the cupboard, not realising that the little boy is in there already. After a little while the little boy says, 'Dark in here.' The man, who obviously got a real fright not expecting to hear anything let alone from a little boy says, 'Yes, it is.' Boy - 'I have a football.' Man - 'That's nice.' Boy - 'Want to buy it?' Man - 'No, thanks.' Boy - 'My dad's outside.' Man - 'OK, how much?' Boy - '

yes the one on top of the dash no i didnt have to drill. you should have enough room for cables

Hi peeps This is what my dad has built and flies That is my dad holding the plane the engine is a 91 4 stroke

Hi Jk If you take the central storage bin out there is the bulkhead which you will be able to thread cables through which is what i did when we fitted our parrot kit Darrel

Hi jk I have a Parrot handsfree kit in my Gal, not the same model as yours but the CK3100 They are a good bit of kit but it takes some getting use to when the radio cuts out when you receive an incoming call though Darrel

How do you give your wife a hot night between the sheets? Lock her in the airing cupboard!!!!!!!!

Pmsl lol lol lol lol lol

PASSWORD A woman was helping her husband set up his new computer, and at the appropriate time in the process, told him he would now need to enter a password. Something he would use to log-on. Her husband was in a rather devilish mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in: P... E... N... I... S... His wife fell out of her chair laughing when the computer replied ***PASSWORD INVALID.......NOT LONG ENOUGH

Ooooooohhhhhhhhhh!!!! Snappy Comeback!!!!!

He mustn't have anything to say thats really worth listening to!!! :rolleyes:

the air con wont blow cold air if the outside temp is below 5 degrees C (or is it 10)? :rolleyes:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Tran substantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I ' m married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but you ' re not really my type. 4. Kebab? No thanks, I ' m not hungry. 5. Good evening, officer. Isn ' t it lovely out tonight? 6. Oh, I couldn ' t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke. 7. I ' m not interested in fighting you. 8. Thank you, but I won ' t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I ' d hate to look like a fool! 9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road. 10. I must be going home now , as I have to work in the morning.

Yes there is such a thing, sad as it is! Who said Australians weren't romantic? Of course I love ya darlin You're a bloody top-notch bird And when I say you're gorgeous I mean every single word So ya bum is on the big side I don't mind a bit of flab It means that when I'm ready There's somethin there to grab So your belly isn't flat no more I tell ya, I don't care So long as when I cuddle ya I can get my arms round there No sheila who is your age Has nice round perky breasts They just gave in to gravity But I know ya did ya best I'm tellin' ya the truth now I never tell ya lies I think its very sexy That you've got dimples on ya thighs I swear on me nanna's grave now The moment that we met I thought you was as good as I was ever gonna get No matter what u look like I'll always love ya dear Now shut up while the footy's on And fetch another beer.

For all of you in education, with sons, grandsons, or who just love the things little kids say ~ a reminder that adult words are often taken literally..... 'Circumcised' (this is priceless!) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming around, scratching his crotch, and not paying attention. She went back to find out what was going on. He was quite embarrassed and whispered that he had just recently been circumcised and he was quite itchy. The teacher told him to go down to the principal's office. He was to telephone his mother and ask her what he should do about it. He did and returned to his class. Suddenly, there was a commotion at the back of the room. She went back to investigate only to find him sitting at his desk with his 'private part' hanging out. 'I thought I told you to call your mom!' she said. 'I did,' he said, 'And she told me that if I could stick it out till noon, she'd come and pick me up from school.'

If your car is ever about to get towed away there is a way to get out of it this is hilarious!!! Tow truck being towed

You're welcome mate glad you got running better than it was. Darrel

Hiya Maz if the bolt has sheared i wouldn't drive the car as more damage could be caused elsewhere wait till daylight to see full extent of damage

Good to hear that everybody is ok

Things Women Can't Do: 1.Understand a film plot 2.Park 3.Read a map (sorry mum) 4.Rob a bank 5.Resist Ikea 6.Tell a joke 7.Play pool 8. Eat a kebab while walking 9.Get told off without crying 10.Understand fruit machines 11.Make a decent bacon sarnie 12.Walk past a shoe shop 13.Not comment on other womens clothes 14.Use small amounts of loo paper 15.Get a round in 16.Get to the point 17.Eat a really hot curry 18.Sit in a room for five minuteswithout saying "I'm cold" 19.Have their money ready before getting on the bus 20.Clean out a tropical fish tank 21.Open a jar 22.Ask you to open a jar without then saying "I loosened it for you" 23.Get this far without arguing with at least one of the above.

Hi all. Merry Christmas just wondered if this has happened to anybody else? My key stopped working on remote so i unlocked the car manually via the passenger door when i put the key in the ignition and started the car the computer had changed from miles to kilometers!! so i turned off ignition got out and locked the car. Then manually unlocked it at the drivers door, started it back up and hey presto back to miles again :rolleyes:

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview. 'Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name? 'Morris Fishbien,' he replied. 'Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?' 'For about 60 years.' '60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?' 'I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.' 'I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop.'I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.' 'How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?' 'Like I'm talking to a f****n' wall.'