katman

While waiting at a bus stop for a bus, a woman stepped onto a weight machine that told your fortune and weight for a quarter. She put a quarter in, and out came a card that read, "Your age is 32, you weigh135 lbs., and you play the fiddle". She found the fortune amusing, since she didn't play the fiddle, but it did have her age correct. About that time, an old gentleman walked up carrying a fiddle. She asked him if she could see his fiddle. He agreed, and to their amazement, she started playing the fiddle with great natural skill. She wondered if the fortune machine had actually known something about her that she didn't. She thought about it, and decided to try the weight machine again. She put another quarter in the machine, and out comes the card that reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you have gastritis." She found this one to be absurd, as she was in perfect health, so she goes back to the bus stop to wait for her bus. While sitting there, she develops abdominal pains that continue to get worse until all of a sudden she farts. She wondered about the fortune, and again was curious if the machine was capable of knowing stuff about her that she didn't know. She puts another quarter in the machine, and out comes a card that reads: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., and you are about to have sex. "She laughed out loud, as she had been trying to find a decent guy to screw for weeks, with no luck. She is sitting there waiting for the bus, when this attractive young man sits down and immediately their eyes locked, and they both knew that they were right for each other. They quickly ducked down an alley and began to screw like two teen-agers. The woman was so simply amazed at the ability of the machine that she had to try it one more time. She stood on the machine, put her last quarter in, and out came a card that read: "Your age is 32, you weigh 135 lbs., You've fiddled, You've farted, You've f**ked around, and now you've missed your bus".

I would go along with that diagnosis as well. A few weeks ago I hit a speed bump and sheared the bolt. First noticable as a clonk when accelerating and decelerating then noticed more engine noise as the exhaust ws pressed against something. Regards Keith

Whereas most people seem to use a very high resolution Colour digital camera, it seems that El Dingo has bought a BINARY camera. His pictures are either Black or White :( :) BTW, I hope the Polar Bear sitting on the roof didnt cause any damage :D

Sounds like you may have dislodged an earth connection somewhere and a section of the dashboard is running with its ground connection at about 6 volts instead of true 0v ground.

Its something that people used to do before cars had electric fans. When the fan was driven by the fan belt it would run all the time and in winter it forced too much air through the radiator and the car wouldnt get warm. There should be absolutely no need to do it in a modern car because 1. as others have stated, if the engine isnt warm enough then the thermostat would be closed so no water would flow through radiator. 2. when the water is flowing through the radiator the fan will not run if the vehicle is moving at any decent speed as natural airflow would cool to the right temperature. if it cooled too much the thermostat would close again 3. when stuck in trafic the fans cut in to force air through the radiator to prevent overheating. if you deliberately obstruct the airflow the vehicle will OVERHEAT !!! If the car is cold then something is not right. My Gal (2.0 petrol) didnt seem to get warm enough. We did a 200 mile journey, admittedly on a cold day, but the needle never got out of the bottom white section except when we got stuck in traffic. Once we started moving again it would drop back down to cool. The car was warmish inside but not hot. When it was in the garage having some work done I got them to replace the thermostat. Now within 4 miles it is slap bang in the middle of the gauge and stays there all the time. I also have to reduce the setting of the heater controls or I get cooked :ph34r: B) Hope that helps

Well done MO4 :lol: :o Just remember to leave the Galaxy at home if you go down the pub to celebrate :o

I remember when August 1st was "the" new car day. People would collect cars from garages a 00:01 to be the first on the road with a new car and you always saw loads during the day. Given that we are 10 days into the "06" registrations I think I have only seen about 6 or 7 cars with an 06 plate.

Why use the first and seventh months as the start of the six month periods when you can make it MUCH more complicated by using the third and ninth months !!!

your bits get hot and sweaty !!! Had a hire car once (not a galaxy) and as usual there was no manual in the glove box and the previous hirer must have turned them on. Took a while to find the switch to turn them off !!! They might be nice on a freezing cold morning but they are the last thing you want in the middle of summer !!!

I dont like the glass roof :( I have a general hatred of sun roofs as the light reflects off the rear of my glasses and I cant see a bloody thing !!!

Last July I sold a Peugeot 309GLD with 281,000 on the clock and the guy who bought it just did an oil change then went in for the Staples to Naples rally. Got there and back no problem at all.

Yeah right !!!! 2001/2002 for Series 1 & 2 both available on DVD and well worth getting.

Do you remember the Pheonix Nights episode when they did Face Painting using a stencil and car spray paint. Looked great but wouldnt come off :angry: .... then there was the giant inflatable....

Arrgghhh. I hate questions like that. I would be no good trying to describe someone to the police because I am not very good when it comes to descriptions! You look quite a bit younger than I imagined and thinner. How deep a hole have I got to dig for myself ??? ??? :angry: :lol:

Lucky the "T" is nowhere near the "B" on the keyboard or I might have been insulted :lol: :P Isnt is strange how you build up a mental image of how you think someone will look, based either on their voice (phone/radio) or by what they say when writing (email/newsgroups/forums etc) and when you actually see a picture it is totally different to how you imagined. MO4 looks nothing like I imagined but I dont mean that in a negative way, its just not how I imagined she would look. I remember many years ago listening to Andy Peebles on Radio 1 and building up a mental picture... then I saw him on TOTP. He definately had the looks for Radio :D

OK, here is one of the rare pictures of me (I try to avoid being photographed if at all possible) standing by the side of my mates huge TV.

Could be three possible explanations for that..... 1. It gave the best position for the photo 2. The different lane marking between lanes 1&2 3. Middle lane hogger <_< Answers on a postcard to ......

Except that the bikes appear to have fallen off :unsure: Is that why MomDorset is looking down the ravine :D :D

Kermit Jagger A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday." Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that she will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall - bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?" The bank manager looks back at her and says........." It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone." (You're singing it, aren't you?!!)

Which model of Kenwood speakers did you get ? How much have they improved the sound ? Are they fitted behind the door card or over the front of it ? Any chance of a picture or three please :) Thanks Keith

My previous car was an old Pug 309 GLD with 280K on the clock. That would also happily pull from about 28mph in 5th. Not exactly a speedmobile but a dependable tank that just went on....and on...and on.

Now I know why my Galaxy wont do more than 59mph..... I havent got 6th, 7th or 8th gear :ph34r: Mine isnt really happy below 33-34 in 4th (2.0 petrol) but I have found that with most modern cars I have driven. I guess the gearing on modern cars is a lot different to older vehicles partly to get the fuel economy. Probably also partially explains why in a 30mph zone everyone tends to travel at around 35mph as they have changed into 4th !

Cant help directly but I do have a theory..... Maybe the car had been worked on by one of mechanics we used to have at work. Many years ago I took a Viva van in with a leaky windscreen that was filling up the footwell, their solution was to drill a hole in the floor to let the water out :lol: Maybe the hole in an alternative solution to blocked scuttle drains :)

I'm following this thread because I am about to fit an amp and PC in the rear of my Galaxy. Hopefully I will find it a lot easier than the wife's Lantra which I have been working on today. Had to remove the inner wheel arch cover as the main wiring harness goes through the inner wing and appear near the battery. The only other possible route when through the engine bulkhead in the centre and is right behind the dash :huh: I now have a power cable at the battery and the audio leads at the head unit. The amplifier end of the leads are currently laying at the side of the rear seat as it got too dark to see how to get them through into the boot. Cant wait to get the Galaxy done though <_< Keith

No problem with ice on the inside of the windows but I had problems getting in the car the other day. We only have one Remote keyring and the missus has claimed that one. I always use a key. Sunday morning I couldnt get the key in the drivers door, could get it in the passenger door but not turn it, finally unlocked the car using the tailgate. Doors were quite well frozen shut but I think it was down to the wierd conditions. We had snow which froze quite hard on Saturday but then later in the day it all started to melt and it started raining. Temperature then plummeted and froze really hard with everything soaking wet. The car park was absolutely lethal. Had to hold onto things to walk!! Regards Keith