gaznlou

Sorry to far away to help with the VAG COM, from a reply I read earlier "Bridged the sensor wires under the wiper arms to fool it into thinking it was cold." Hope this helps Gaz

Try this, not always acurate though..... http://www.rac.co.uk/web/vehiclechecks/status_checks/ FORGET it this does not give BHP unless you pay, Send me a PM with either REG or VIN number, I will be able to tell you what it is. Gaz

Bono, the lead singer of the band, U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous. At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow , Scotland , he asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice with a broad Scottish accent from the front of the crowd Pierced the quiet. . ... "Well, foockin stop doin it then, ya evil bastArd!" ,_.___

Steve How much are you looking for them?

Out of all the blonde jokes, this one has to be the best! Football FINALLY makes sense.......... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!

Missed the dead line!!!!!! perhaps we will see Air Iraq do a couple of 360 instead

Bigdaddy The price you have is for the track rod end and Spindle, if you want just the T/End they are

There was a German, an Italian and an Irishman on death row. The warden gave them a choice of three ways to die: 1. to be shot 2. to be hung 3. to be injected with the AIDS virus for a slow death. So the German said, "Shoot me right in the head." Boom, he was dead instantly. Then the Italian said, "Just hang me." (Snap, he was dead.) Then the Irishman said, "Give me some of that AIDS stuff." They gave him the shot, and the Irishman fell down laughing. The guards looked at each other and wondered what was wrong with this guy. Then the Irishman said, "Give me another one of those shots," so the guards did. Now he was laughing so hard, tears rolled from his eyes and he doubled over. Finally the warden said, "What is wrong with you?" The Irishman replied, "You guys are so stupid.....I'm wearing a condom."

ooooooooo Did I touch a nerve there KJ ;)

A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool he noticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attention and asked, "Sir, what will you have?" The man thought a moment then replied "A martini please." The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the man had ever had. The robot then asked, "Sir, what is your IQ?" The man answered "Oh, about 164." The robot then proceeded to discuss the theory of relativity, inter-stellar space travel, the latest medical breakthroughs, etc... The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try a different tack. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clicked and asked what he would have? "A martini please." Again it was superb. The robot again asked "What is your IQ sir?" This time the man answered , "Oh about 100". So the robot started discussing Top Gear, the latest football scores, and what to expect of the Premiership season. The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took a stool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?" This time the man slowly drawled out " Uh..... bout 10". The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked, "A-r-e... y-o-u-r... p-e-o-p-l-e... h-a-p-p-y... w-i-t-h... R-a-f-a ?"

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So why is the groom wearing black?"

One day, long, long ago, there was this woman who surprisingly, did not whine, nag or bitch........ But this was a long time ago..... and it was just ONE day. The End

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother ............"Franky Brown showed me his pee-pee today!" Before her mom could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, "It reminded me of a peanut"........... Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's mom asked, knowingly - "Really small , huh..? Sally replied, "No... it was salty!"

I did'nt I said I would ;) not that I have a problem with my wipers (thankfully as he looks at the hail stones coming down)

I would check fuses first!

I think you will find this is down to Water ingress on the door loom from the A pillar to the door, remove door trim (not a nice job) clean and dry wires/switch, seal with Electrical Grease.

Yep that and the face expressions does me :unsure:

Try this link http://www.ffk-wilkinson.com/

I had a simular problem, breakdown company thought it was crank sensor, (again diagnostic test failed to pick this up) in my case I found one of the thin wires had chaffed through, so when it was stood still the wire was connecting, under load it was not, repaired wire, no problems since, (touch wood), hopefully this could be your problem. Gaz

oops Sorry, missed it the first time round

Doctor's Office They always ask at the doctor's office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what's wrong and sometimes it is embarrassing. There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it. An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk..... The Receptionist said, 'Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?' 'There's something wrong with my dick', he replied. The Receptionist became irritated and said, 'You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.' 'Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,' he said. The Receptionist replied; 'Now you've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.' The man replied, 'You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, '?Yes??' 'There's something wrong with my ear', he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. 'And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??' 'I can't p1ss out of it,' he replied. The waiting room erupted in laughter. Mess with seniors and you're gonna lose!

NO longer here!! I wonder how long it will be before the Scottish version comes out

Yep illegal for the year of Gal!

God I am tired, Stoned, Cross and been nailed, up to dry for a simple joke entered. Forgive me If I have sinned!