teresa

Dear All, My thanks to all those who have forwarded me emails this past year........ I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat sh*t in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. I no longer have any savings because I gave them to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the

oh thats brilliant santa doesnt exist .....does that mean there is no christmas YIPEEEE

Reindeer -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl. We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

pmsl welcome skippy enjoy the site ;)

already got them on my pc plus quite a few more including... i farted on santas lap, frosty the pervert , ill be stoned for xmas plus few more i cant put on here

we never noticed any fuel selling out during our 520 mile journey still paid

Ever wondered how the angel came to be on top of the christmas tree read on Little Known Christmas Fact Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere. Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of whiskey. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little pieces all over the he kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from. Just then the doorbell rang and Santa cussed on his way to the door. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?" And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree.

dare not show ya mine lol my desk is a mess got boxes everywhere waiting be packed the whole place is a mess

had this sent to me today hope it does not affend anyone A Christmas Story 'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pi55ed. He cussed out the elves and threw down his list. Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works! I've busted my ass for damn near a year, Instead of 'Thanks Santa'--what do I hear? The old lady bitches cause I work late at night. The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight. Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids. Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS. And just when I thought that things would get better Those assholes from the Revenue Canada sent me a letter, They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money? And the kids these days--they all are the pits They want the impossible--Those mean little s***s I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them, They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM! Flying through the air...dodging the trees Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment. There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason, I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

omg mmmm you will be well pleased if you do :lol: i think i need a cold bath

woohooo someone else from staffordshire hi richard and welcome

ur only jelous because i can go topless in summer have the wind blowing in my hair while you lot are all complaining your air con dont work :lol:

aww thanks your so kind lol

:huh: pmsl :lol: welcome SchitzoStu im the only sane one here

looks like the fuel protest is actually gonna start see link http://www.transaction-2007.com/ typical its the day ive arranged to go to east sussex ( can anyone put us up if we run out of fuel pmsl)

the only peeps i bought pressies for are my grandaughter spent

bloody hundreds of lights up around here been up for over 2 weeks not putting mine up till 24th december then ill take em down on 27th

talking of kickin the bucket jay is on his last legs he got man flu so he says i could be single soon yipee ....

and im a ghost its just ur imagination that makes you think you can see a post by me

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU OLD GIT ;) ENJOY YOUR DAY DONT GET TO DRUNK

very good

what you have a list ???? i need another diary im in soooooo much demand

46 you old git i only got one left at home now and she will be gone in 3yrs so she tells me so for me life will begin at 39 yipeeee .......party anyone?

nothin stopping ya havin a 2 seater sports car as well as a gal

whos upset ??? cus ya can come to one of mine :blink: