gaznlou

Check the Alternator

READ the post on AUX heater, all will be revealed.

No problem Just one thing I was asked, if the owner, gets it back please make sure to let us know, I would hate to give the owner a good hiding for nothing.

Gregers Done! this has been added to a Ford related forum who have 12,248 registered members. Gaz

Hi Neil (Wibble) PM sent (again) :rolleyes: Gaz

Gregers I am a member, on another Owners site, any objections of me posting this on there? Gaz

We had a party for my Gran at the weekend, because she reached her Hundreth Birthday. We wheeled Gran out on the lawn, in her wheelchair, where the celebrations for her 100th birthday were taking place. Grandma can't speak very well, but she can write notes when she needs to communicate. After a short time out on the lawn, Gran started leaning off to the right, so some of the family grabbed her, straightened her up, and stuffed pillows on her right side. A short time later, she started leaning off to her left, so again we grabbed her and stuffed pillows on her left. Soon she started leaning forward, so we grabbed her again, and then tied a pillowcase around her waist to hold her up. One of her nephews who arrived late went up to Gran and said,

Problem resolved!! Just in case anybody else has the same problem, I have found the fuses x 2, they are located, all on there own, under the drivers seat, now why did I not check there first? how silly of me to check the fuse box!! Gaz

Can someone please help, by advising, which fuse it is, (number) for the rear Aux outlets (AKA rear fag lighters) Galaxy 1999 GLX Thanks in advance Gaz

Dear Wife: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had a new haircut, had cooked your favourite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband and wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Husband P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life! Dear Ex-Husband - Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair cut last week, but the first thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a girl!' Since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favourite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MYSISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago. About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the

B & Q JOB APPLICATION > > This is allegedly an actual job application that a 75-year-old >pensioner submitted to B&Q in Tunbridge Wells. > They hired him because he was so funny..... > > > NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Bastard) > > SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at >least one who will cooperate) > > DESIRED POSITION: Company's Chief Executive or Managing Director. >But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be >picky, I wouldn't be applying in the first place - would I? > > DESIRED SALARY:

A typical bloke, having split from his latest girlfriend, decided to take a holiday. He booked himself on a cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank. He found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts. After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore. In disbelief, he asks, 'Where did you come from? How did you get here?' She replies, 'I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed here when my cruise ship sank.' 'Amazing,' he notes. 'You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.' 'Oh, this thing?' explains the woman. 'I made the boat out of raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree.' 'But, where did you get the tools?' 'Oh, that was no problem,' replied the woman. 'On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron. I used that for tools and used the tools to make the hardware.' The guy is stunned. 'Let's row over to my place,' she says. After a few minutes of rowing, she docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, 'It's not much but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would you like a drink?' 'No! No thank you,' he blurts out, still dazed. 'I can't take another drop of coconut juice.' 'It's not coconut juice,' winks the woman. 'I have a still. How would you like a Pina Colada?' Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the bathroom cabinet.' No longer questioning anything, the man goes into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet, a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism. 'This woman is amazing,' he muses. 'What next?' When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but vines, strategically positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckons for him to sit down next to her. 'Tell me,' she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for many months. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for?' She stares into his eyes ... He swallows excitedly and tears start to form in his eyes..... ' Bloody hell, don't tell me you've got Sky Sports?'

Hi yep it's a Ghia, Satin Silver in Colour 1.9D engine, it was built 08/09/1999, so it just had it's birthday.

Steve I think you will find most of the info on the fuses, don't relate to what they say in the book, if that's what you mean. Gaz

PM Down? I just sent a message to Cantona1 via PM, take a look in your messages Gaz

If you PM me your reg I just may be able to tell you what model you have :wacko: Gaz

Frank :wacko: A saying used by kids "sh!t happens

___________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' _________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher

Very Cheap, nice one.

Phil Neal The the last post on this subject was over 3 years ago!!!

Hi Maz Number plates were very cheap, did you show him your log book and 1 utilty bill? Gaz

Due to the credit crunch I'm now shopping in cheaper food outlets, Have you tried the Korean meatballs from Aldi? I'm telling you they're the dogs bollo*ks. :wacko:

Same here. Mind you I bet the copper got some stick over it :) Gaz

letteroftheyear.pdf

A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls and sat down next to a beautiful (you guessed it) blonde. The puzzled blonde kept looking at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, 'It's golf balls'. Nevertheless, the blonde continued to look at him for a very long time, deeply thinking about what he had said. After several minutes, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, she asked; .............. ............. ................ Scroll down 'Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?'