AndeeeH

I thought that was why women have legs.......... because you can see the mess snails leave behind them :blink: :lol:

Husband: When I get mad at you, you never fight back. How do you control your anger? Wife: I clean the toilet bowl. Husband: How does that help? Wife: I use your toothbrush.

If the other 7,048 members would donate 78p each the vehicle could be yours!! :lol: Andy.

Oooooppps :lol:

When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!". I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy". "I know", she replied, "but what's growing in your bum?"

A man and a woman meet at a bar one day and are getting along really well. They decide to go back to the woman's house where they engage in passionate love making. Suddenly, they hear a noise at the door and the woman says, "Quick, my husband is home. Go hide in the bathroom!" The husband comes up into the bedroom and looks at her. "Why are you naked?" he asks. The woman smiles and says coyly, "Well, I heard you pull up outside, so I thought I would come up here and get ready!" "Okay," the husband replies, "I'll be back in a minute." Before his wife can stop him, he goes into the bathroom and sees the naked man standing there clapping his hands. "Who the hell are you!" the husband asks. "I'm from the extermination company. Your wife called me in to get rid of the moths you are having trouble with." The husband, getting angrier by the moment, exclaims, "Then why you are naked!" The man then looks down at himself and exclaims, "Those greedy little b*****ds!"

A little boy asked his teacher if he could go to the toilet. She said "yes". When he went to wipe his bum there was no toilet paper so, he used his hand. When he got back to class, his teacher asked, "What do you have in your hand?" The boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hand he'll get scared away." He was then sent to the principal's office and the principal asked him, "What do you have in your hand?" The little boy said, "A little leprechaun and if I open my hands he'll get scared away. "The principal got mad and yelled, "Open your hands NOW!" He did and the little boy said, 'Oh great, now look what you've done, youve scared the s**t out of him!"

A mother took her five-year-old son with her to the bank on a busy lunchtime. They got behind a very fat woman wearing a business suit complete with pager. As they waited patiently, the little boy said loudly, "Gee she's fat!" The mother bent down and whispered in the little boy's ear to be quiet. A couple of minutes passed by and the little boy spread his hands as far as they would go and announced; "I'll bet her butt is this wide!" The fat woman turns around and glares at the little boy. The mother gave him a good telling off, and told him to be quiet. After a brief lull, the large woman reached the front of the line. Just then her pager begin to emit a beep, beep, beep. The little boy yells out, "Run, she's backing up!!"

An elderly couple in their 80's were about to get married. She said: I want to keep my house. He said that's fine with me. She said: And I want to keep my Cadillac. He said: That's fine with me. She said: And I want to have sex 6 times a week. He said: That's fine with me...Put me down for Fridays..

An atheist was walking through the woods... when he stopped and thought: "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" Then, as he was walking along the riv er, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look and saw a 7-foot grizzly charging towards him! He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing in on him. He ran faster when he looked over his shoulder again, and saw that the bear was even closer! He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bear was right on top of him... reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time Stopped! The bear froze... And the forest was silent. As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky... "You deny my existence for all these years... and try to teach others I don't exist... and even credit creation to a cosmic accident? Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to now count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light, "Well, it would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now... but perhaps you could make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very well," said God. The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed... And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord bless this food, which I am about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

A man and woman were having marital problems so they went to see a marriage counselor. The counselor, in an attempt to find some common ground from which to begin his analysis said, "Tell me about anything the two of you have in common." The husband spoke up and said, "Well, neither one of us s***s d***s." :lol: :lol:

Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful queen with voluptuous breasts. Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them. The king was a very jealous man. One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the king's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the royal chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the king and queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the cure for the itch. The king quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1, 000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the king, with a laugh just told him to get lost. The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the king's underwear . The king immediately summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer... Moral of the story: Always pay your bills!

A senior citizen goes in for his yearly physical with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room he says, "I will need a urine sample, a stool sample, and a sperm sample." The man, being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks, "What did he say?" The wife yells back to him, "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR!"

Title says it all really: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/tv-screens-ford-gala...1QQcmdZViewItem :P Andy.

An elderly man took his little grandson for a walk around the local cemetery. Pausing before one gravestone, he said, "There lies a very honest man. He died owing me 50 dollars, but he struggled to the end to pay off his debts and if anyone has gone to Heaven, he has." They walked on a bit farther and then came to another grave. The old man pointed to the gravestone and said, "Now, there's a different type of man altogether. He owed me 60 dollars and he died without ever trying to pay me back. If anyone has gone to Hell, he has." The little boy thought for awhile and then said, "You know, Grandpa, you are very lucky." "Why"? asked the old man in surprise. "Well, whichever place you go to, you'll have some money waiting when you get there!"

Hi Pete, these are the dimensions as per the Mk3 Galaxy brochure dated June 2006.(mm) Max cargo height with 3rd row seats 964 Max cargo height without 3rd row seats 1019 Max cargo width 1215 Max cargo width between wheel arches 1146 Max cargo length to back of 3rd row seats 557 Min cargo length to back of 3rd row seats 397 Max cargo length to back of 2nd row seats 1306 Min cargo length to back of 2nd row seats 1156 Max cargo length to back of front seats 2095 Fords also offer a fitted dog guard system that can either fit behind the front or second row seats. Hope this helps, Andy. :D

I noticed in the Mk3 brochure that the electric opening of the rearmost side windows would only be available in the second half of 2006 so its possible yours was built before that but have a gander at this thread: http://www.fordgalaxy.org.uk/ford/index.php?showtopic=11567 try a PM to one of the other Mk3 owners who might have a look in their handbooks and let you know where the switches are supposed to be. :) Andy.

Just to re-iterate Grumpy's advise about Towsure. They have everything you could possibly want as far as caravanning goes and their main shop/workshop is in Sheffield. They have an excellent towbar fitting service. B) Andy.

The A28 is now complete from Rouen to Le Mans so my preferred route for bypassing the potential traffic nightmare around Paris would be the A16 from Calais to Abbeville, the A28 from Abbeville to Rouen, N28-N338 through Rouen, turn right onto the A13 south of Rouen, after 6 miles rejoin the A28 heading south for Le Mans, by-pass Le Mans on the A11, rejoin the A28 towards Tours then join the A10 Paris-Bordeaux heading for Poitiers. Have a great trip, :lol: Andy.

Can anyone recommend a company(pref. online) that provides insurance cover for loss of earnings through illness or accident for self employed or part-time workers. All info. much appreciated. :rolleyes: Andy.

I do hope you aren't going to make the common mistake of filling your diesel Gal with petrol just before you hand it back............ :lol:

A woman goes to her doctor's office,to discuss a strange development. She has discovered a green spot on the inside of each thigh. They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and they seem to be getting worse. The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and tells her not to worry until he gets the tests back. A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor. She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots. The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy--there's no problem. But I'm wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?" The woman stammers, "Why, Yes, but how did you know?" "Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug hug :)

1. A day without sunshine is like night. 2. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 5. Remember, half the people you know are below average. 6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap. 9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have. 10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. 11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines. 12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments. 13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand. 14. OK, so what's the speed of dark? 15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. 16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now. 17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges? 18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines 19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice? 20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? 21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, "What the hell happened?" 22. Just remember -- if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off. 23. Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 24. Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapeno chillis. What you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow

Hi Marian, sorry to hear of your predicament and I hope you get it sorted asap. :D I dont suppose the target of your anger got to hear of our clandestine meetings in pub car parks and around the back of garages did he? :D You didn't mention money at the time so I assumed I didn't have to pay!! :16: :D Andy.