AndeeeH

Shock!! Horror!!!!!!!! :wacko: :wacko:

Due to a power cut, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very dark so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-yr old girl to hold a flashlight high over her mummy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked. Heidi pushed and pushed and after a little while, Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-yr old what she thought about what she had just witnessed. Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......smack his a**e again!"

The Mk2 didn't widely appear until Sept/Oct 2000. You may, of course, have a very early one that was released to the press or for dealer promotions. If it is a Mk2 it will look like the one in Bleeno's post in this thread: http://www.fordgalaxy.org.uk/ford/index.php?showtopic=13826

No, you thing thongs. :lol:

While we're on the subject..... what goes: blond, brunette, blond, brunette, blond, brunette? An Essex girl doing cartwheels.......

.......but dont forget to wrap-up warm in your fur coat :lol:

Thanks for that gregers

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my d**k", he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The Receptionist replied; "You've caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with Doctor in private." The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?" "There's something wrong with my ear", he stated. The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?" "I can't p**s out of it," he replied.

No, a near neighbour of mine has just got an '03 TDi in green with the leather interior and had been told by a dealer that mudflaps weren't available for it!!!! Mind you the same dealer told him not to get a Galaxy Zetec TDi because they have the Ford Zetec engine in them!!!!!!!!!!! I've told him about a few of the Shalaxy foibles (yes, he had a wet footwell and disconnected bidet pipe) and about this site so there could be a new member along soon.

The Glasgow Rangers manager flies to Baghdad to watch a young Iraqi play Football and is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over to Scotland. Two weeks later the 'Gers are 4-0 down to Aberdeen with only 20 minutes left. The manager gives the young Iraqi striker the nod and on he goes. The lad is a sensation - scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Rangers! The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in Scottish football. "Hello mum, guess what?" he says in an Iraqi accent. "I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me." " Wonderful," says his mum, "Let me tell you about my day. Your father got shot in the street and robbed, your sister and I were ambushed, gang raped and beaten and your brother has joined a gang of looters, and all while you were having such great time." The young lad is very upset, "What can I say mum, but I'm so sorry." "Sorry?!!! Sorry?!!!" says his mum, "It's your bloody fault we moved to Glasgow in the first place!"

I thought 'going commando' meant you didn't wear any knickers......... :) :) ;)

Hi Gregers, any idea if these will fit the Mk2 03 reg. Sharan? thanks, Andy.

To save confusion I'll call yer Bruce! Not to mention the 'couple of diggerdevions on the balcony'!!

A crusty old man walks into the local First Baptist Church and says to the secretary, "I would like to join this damn church." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damn it. I said I want to join this damn church!" "I'm very sorry sir, but that kind of language is not tolerated in this church." The secretary leaves her desk and goes into the pastor's study to inform him of her situation. The pastor agrees that the secretary does not have to listen to that foul language. They both return to her office and the pastor asks the old geezer, "Sir, what seems to be the problem here?" "There is no damn problem," the man says. "I just won $200 million bucks in the damn lottery and I want to join this damn church to get rid of some of this damn money. " "I see," said the pastor. "And is this damn bitch giving you a hard time?"

Rule 2: No Pooftahs!! oh no, silly me, that's Monty Pythons........... :rolleyes: :lol:

Maybe the SATNAV will help...... :lol: You'll need bigger bait than a SATNAV to catch a Great White...................

Ka, Fiesta, Focus and C-Max can all be spec'ed with the option to turn on/off the passenger airbag using the ignition key in a lock ususally fitted in the glovebox. On the Ka the lock is on the top of the dashboard on the passenger side. For the S-Max and Mk3 Galaxy the "delete front passenger airbag" is a dealer fit option.

It might be a long shot but if the Mk3 uses the same roof rail system as the Mondeo and C-Max you could get the complete rails and feet for one of them but substitute your rails for the shorter Mondeo and C-Max ones. Try here: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/FORD-FOCUS-C-MAX-ROO...1QQcmdZViewItem

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and fell into a deep slumber. He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep, Ralph.' Ralph was stunned. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!' St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that is as a chicken.' Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home. The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the ground. A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day here?' 'Not bad,' replied Ralph the hen, 'but I have this strange feeling inside. Like I'm gonna explode!' 'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don 't tell me you've never laid an egg before?' 'Never,' said Ralph. 'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.' Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg! Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming. As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head, and heard his wife shout..... 'Dammit, Ralph! Wake up. You're c**pping in the bed!'

A man who just died is delivered to a Kentucky mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit. Bubba the mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. He points out that the man does look very good in the black suit he is already wearing. The widow however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives Bubba a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.' The woman returns the next day for the viewing. To her delight she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly. She says to Bubba, 'Whatever the cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, Bubba presents her with the blank check. 'Dere's no charge,' he says. 'No, really, I must pay you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says. 'Honestly, ma'am, Bubba says, 'it didn't cost me a thing'. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his missus if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.' 'So, I just swapped their heads over'

A doctor in Newfoundland wanted to get off work and go hunting, so he approached his assistant. "Garge, I am going hunting tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all me patients". "Yes, sir!" answers Garge. The doctor goes hunting and returns the following day and asks: "So,Garge, how was your day?" Garge told him that he took care of three patients. "The first one had a headache so I gave him TYLENOL." "Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor. "The second one had stomach burning and I gave him MAALOX, sir" says Garge. "Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor. "Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters. Like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything including her bra and her panties and lies down on the table, spreading her legs and shouts: 'HELP ME! For five years I have not seen any man!'" "Tunderin' lard Jesus Garge, what did you do?" asks the doctor. "I put drops in her eyes."

Try here: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/FORD-GALAXY-MK2-GLOV...1QQcmdZViewItem or here: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/2004-FORD-GALAXY-1-9...1QQcmdZViewItem or here: http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/FORD-GALAXY-VW-SHARA...1QQcmdZViewItem

If you want to get ahead get a....... http://www.cafepress.com/fordgalaxy.152908752

Hi George, There aren't that many autoroutes in Normandy and the A84 between Caen and Avranches is free for all vehicles. On the others you should only be Class 1 and not have to pay any extra. If you're crossing to le Havre the toll on the Pont de Normandie is about 7

I definately agree with you about the car transporters. I came up behind one last Summer dropping down into Spain from the frontier at Le Perthus on the A7. My first thought was the caravan had blown a tyre as the rig became so unstable in such a short time. Naturally I slowed down and the problem went away; speeded up again and approached the car transporter and again the van started to wiggle all over the place. Did a couple more drop backs and approaches just to satisfy myself that the transporter was cause and then did a bit of a naughty and used the outside lane to get past unmolested. I assume its the passage of the air through the transporter which causes a vortex of 'dirty air' and pulls the van all over the place. :rolleyes: Andy.