baz69

here for sale is my very very rare citrine yellow mondeo, this car is 1 of 211 mondeos built by ford in this colour, it was the nearest to an RS Mondeo that ford produced, it was factory fitted with the RS bodykit, i have an insurance agreed valuation of

Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise. Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. Haynes: This is a snug fit. Translation: You will skin your knuckles! Haynes: This is a tight fit. Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! Haynes: As described in Chapter 7... Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox. Haynes: Pry... Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into... Haynes: Undo... Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (catering size). Haynes: Retain tiny spring... Translation: "Jeez what was that, it nearly had my eye out"! Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb... Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part. Haynes: Lightly... Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly". Haynes: Weekly checks... Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it! Haynes: Routine maintenance... Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be! Haynes: One spanner rating. Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up? Haynes: Two spanner rating. Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you). Haynes: Four spanner rating. Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb! Haynes: Five spanner rating. Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!! Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this... Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!! Haynes: Compress... Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage. Haynes: Inspect... Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"! Haynes: Carefully... Translation: You are about to cut yourself! Haynes: Retaining nut... Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust. Haynes: Get an assistant... Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know. Haynes: Turning the engine will be easier with the spark pugs removed. Translation: However, starting the engine afterwards will be much harder. Once that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach has subsided, you can start to feel deeply ashamed as you gingerly refit the spark plugs. Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal. Translation: But you swear in different places. Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs... Translation: Snap off... Haynes: Using a suitable drift... Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift! Haynes: Everyday toolkit Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone Haynes: Apply moderate heat... Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat. Haynes: Index Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do! :( how many of you can relate to these

masked you are a crazy man that cracked me up i nearly fell off me chair

blimey thats a big scream, bad day being had me thinks

that is lovely, looks like a focus from the front,

i wont look

or is the sharan a ford lol

i have owned my current car for nearly 3 years lol

the inside looks lovely got any exterior shots of it yet

ford fair is a goodshow to go to caers for all fords ,used to show my mondeo at that, normally at silverstone in august

so easy to be a little over speed limit these days, radar detectors are handy as a reminder,especially how sneaky the police are getting, imo

saw some mirrors on ebay the other day, reasonable price too

nice wheels mate, suit the gal well

one of these has just sold on flea bay ,got side skirts and front and rear spoilers and 4x4 aswell, any other bodykits available for galaxy mk1s

thanx for the compliment mo4

this is me holding my mates newborn son,

i already got tropical fish ,cars for sale though

not for sale lol

no mate i do my insurance with hic they are very cheap, cost me

hereyou go gregers its the only way i could show you here for sale is my very very rare citrine yellow mondeo, this car is 1 of 211 mondeos built by ford in this colour, it was the nearest to an RS Mondeo that ford produced, it was factory fitted with the RS bodykit, i have an insurance agreed valuation of

porkies is a great film what a classic

only in your opinion lol

galaxys are not that bad surely lol im thinkin of buying one

have you tried ebay yet,or failing that try one of the breakers that do a search to locate the part for you

maybe pink and tight fitting lol