bigdaddy

mo4,,,,,I had to save your avatar to my pics then enlarge it to see what it was,,,,,,,,and you are right "you are the woman",,,,,,,,,, I am sorry, but i do not think your avatar is rude or offensive,,,so get it changed to some bouncy boobs,,,,,,PLEASE :( :( :D

I believe the relay is under the seat,.,,,,one for each seat or behind the fuse box,,,,,,

BJ,,,,,what ever pleasures your needs :( :( :D

To be honest no, but does it matter? as of now I am closeing my account on this site so post all the mindless drivel you want and use what ever avatar you like BYE BYE :(

Get a haynes manual for your gal,,,,,gives good detail on bearing change,,,,,,,,it is a very staight forward operation,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,but it will help if you have a vice

I dont have the factory alarm,,,,,only the imboliser,,,,,and my indicaters flash when i press the remote key,,,,,,,

Argos does something similiar,,,,,but the dvd is a seperate unit,,,,and it allows an external device,like a playstation to be connected,,,,,,watch dvd on one screen while playing game on other,,,,,or play game on both screens,,,,,,,,,,

On the auto gearstick drivers side,,,is a 5mm allen screw,,,loosen it ,,,a couple of turns is enough,,,,,,take off the gearstick head and slide of the cover,,,,,,,,,,,get a tiny screw driver,,slip it under the black cover,,and pop it off gently,,,,,,,,,remove the ashtray,,,,,,(gentle pull,, up it comes)then you will see 4 black screws,,,,remove them and the consule lifts up,,,,,,,,be carefull the ashtray light and the diagnostic socket is still connected :P Get yourself a TIS or ELSAWIN disc from ebay,,,,,or,,,,, a haynes manual,,,,they help loads :lol:

you write for ,,,,,, amazingjokes.com,,,,,,lollllllll

How about here :lol: Clicky Here This is only a sample :lol:

Eating Grass A wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?" "We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass." "Well then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said. "But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree." "Bring them along," the lawyer replied. Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You come with us also." The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!" "Bring them all, as well," the lawyer answered. They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you." The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost a foot high!"

Marriage A woman wakes up in the middle of the night and niticed that her husband isn't in bed anymore. She gets up and goes down to check out where he is. She finds him staring at the wall, tears in his eyes. She askes: "what's going on, darling?" After a while he answers: " Do you remember the first time we had sex in the back of my car and your father caught us?" "Yes !" she answers. "Do you remember the fact that he putted a barrel of a gun in my mouth and said : Or you marry my daughter or you go to prison for at least 20 years !!!" "Yes, I still remember" answers his wife, emotioned by his romantic memories. "Well" he says, " today I would have been free... "

Three women going to Heaven Three women die together in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!" So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one. Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!" The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?" The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

The New Priest The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions. The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions. The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand and try saying things like 'yes, I see,' and 'yes, go on,' and 'I understand.'" The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest. The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No shit...what happened next?

The Rewards Of A Healthy Lifestyle The couple was 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven. They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet. They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now." The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. "Why, nothing," Peter replied, "remember, this is your reward in Heaven." The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man. "This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day." Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages. "Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man. "This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy." The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. "Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked. "That's the best part," St. Peter replied. "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This IS Heaven!" The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?" "Not unless you want to," was the answer. "No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..." Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself." The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your fucking bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"

Three black Men A couple attending an art exhibition at the National Gallery were staring at a portrait that had them totally confused. The painting depicted three black men totally naked, sitting on a park bench. Two of the men had black penises, but the one seated in the middle, had a pink penis. The curator of the gallery realized the confused couple were having trouble with interpreting the painting and offered his assessment. He went on and on for nearly half an hour explaining how it depicted the sexual emasculation of African-Americans in a predominantly white, patriarchal society. "In fact", he pointed out, "some serious critics believe that the pink penis reflects the cultural and sociological oppression expressed by gay men in a contemporary society". After the curator left, a Scotsman man approached the couple and said, "Would you like to know what the painting is really about?" "Now why would you claim to be more of an expert than the curator of the Gallery?" asked the couple. "Because I'm the guy who painted it," he replied. "In fact, there is no African-American representation at all. They're just three Scottish coal-miners. The guy in the middle went home for lunch."

Upskirts The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. "Good God, woman! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" her husband demanded. "Well, you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any." The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's

Questions and answers about women Questions and answers about women Q. Why did God give men penises? A. So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Q. What's the difference between a paycheck and your dick? A. You don't have to beg a woman to blow your check. Q. How is a woman like a laxative? A. They both irritate the shit out of you. Q. What are the small bumps around a woman's nipples for? A. It's Braille for "suck here". Q. Why do men die before their wives? A. They want to. Q. Did you hear about the guy who finally figured out women? A. He died laughing before he could tell anybody. Q. What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? A. Lipstick. Q. Why do women have tits? A. So men will talk to them. Q. What's the difference between a woman and a coffin? A. You come in one and go in the other. Q. Why do women close their eyes during sex? A. They can't stand seeing a man have a good time. Q. What's six inches long and two inches wide and drives women wild? A. Money. Q. Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? A. They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days. Q. What's the difference between your wife and your job? A. After 5 years your job will still suck. Q. What's the best thing about a blow job? A. Ten minutes of silence.

A Wife making Breakfast A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband one morning. Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen. "Careful...CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. Too MANY! Turn them over. Turn them over NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! Where are we going to get more BUTTER!? Great! Now they're going to STICK! Careful...CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You never listen to me when you're cooking! NEVER! Turn them over! Hurry UP! Are you crazy? Have you lost your MIND? Don't forget to salt them. You KNOW you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. The SALT! Use the SALT!" His wife just stared at him. "What in the hell is the matter with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?" The husband calmly replied, "I wanted to show you what it feels like to have you sitting next to me when I'm driving."

A newly wed couple A young couple got married, and in their family, it was tradition that the best man dance with the bride for the first song. Well, this happened...but then they danced for the second song too. And the third. By the time the fourth song came on, the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs. A riot broke out, and all the invited guests were hauled off to jail. In court the next week, the judge asked the best man what happened. ''Your honor, we were just dancing, and the groom ran up and kicked the bride between the legs.'' ''That must have hurt,'' said the judge. ''No kidding,'' said the best man. ''I broke three of my fingers.''

A Texan Is drinking in a New York Bar. He gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Texan baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about average back home, folks. Like I said, my boy's a typical Texan baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around and many exclamations of "WOW!" were heard. One woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later the Texan returns to the bar. The bartender says "Say, you're the father of that typical Texan baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been makin' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna call you ... so how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born. The Texan father takes a slow swig from his Lone Star, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans in to the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."

The latest in pest control :lol: Clicky Here

Forgot to say,,,,,Blackpool or Alton Towers would be a great place to meet up :lol:

I think this is a great idea ,,,,,,,,,, BUT I ticked no in the poll, due to me being up north,,,,,Its a long way to travel for an overnight pi55up :lol: :lol:

I have seen tyres on Mytyres for