Some Irish Jokes

[Bigjeeze]

I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday School class to see if they

understood the concept of getting to heaven.

 

I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and

gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'

 

'NO!' the children answered.

 

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything

tidy, would that get me into heaven?'

 

Again, the answer was 'NO!' By now I was starting to smile.

 

'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the

children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'

 

Again, they all answered 'NO!'. I was just bursting with pride for them.

 

I continued, ' Then how can I get into heaven?'

 

A six year-old boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD...."

 

 

A resident of Dublin goes to his parish church one Saturday afternoon

and enters the confessional. He says to the priest, "Forgive me,

Father, for I have sinned. It has been full one month since my last

confession and I