Bad Day At The Office

[Bigjeeze]

If you don't laugh out loud after you read this you are in a coma!

This is even funnier when you realize it's real!

Next time you have a bad day at work think of this guy.

 

Bob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana

 

He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs.

 

Below is an E-mail he sent to his sister.

She then sent it to radio station 103 .5 on FM dial in Indiana, who was

sponsoring a worst job experience contest.

 

Needless to say, she won.

Read his letter below.

 

 

~Hi Sue,

 

Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother.

Last week I had a bad day at the office.

I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would

share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.

 

Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a

few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom

of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wet suit.

This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is

this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater.

This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea.

It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the

diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.

 

Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times

with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start

working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wet suit.

 

This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a

Jacuzzi. Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt

started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it.

 

This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my ass started to

burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done.

In agony I realized what had happened. The hot water machine had sucked

up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit.

 

Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't

stick to it, however, the crack of my arse was not as fortunate.

 

When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the

jellyfish into the crack of my arse.

 

I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.

His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five

other divers, were all laughing hysterically.

Needless to say, I aborted the dive.

 

I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops

totalling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin

my chamber dry decompression.

When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass

helmet.

As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running

down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my

butt as soon as I got in the chamber.

The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't sh#t for two days because my

arse was swollen shut.

 

So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much

worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your arse.

Now repeat to yourself, 'I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.'

Whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself, is this a jellyfish bad day?