Scones

[Bigjeeze]

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazinginto the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thoughthimself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite scones. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly whacked on the hand, with a wooden spoon by his wife...... ......... ......... F**k off" she said, "they're for the funeral."

[big_kev]

I bet you that's a true story.

 

Evil aren't they !

[galaxyman73]

:23: thats a class joke ..lol

[mk2vr6]

cut'n'paste humor is usually just as funny the twenty third time of reading it but after a few years the novelty wears off

 

polish version..

 

An elderly Polish man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite pierogi with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

Downstairs, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen, where if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were hundreds of his favorite pierogi.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

He threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the pierogi was already in his mouth. With a trembling hand he reached up to the edge of the table, when suddenly he was smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

"Back off!" she said. "Those are for the funeral. "

 

italian version 2006

 

A SWEET STORY ABOUT ITALIAN COOKIES

 

An elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Italian anisette sprinkle cookies wafting up the stairs. Gathering his remaining strength,he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where if not for death's agony, he

would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his

favorite anisette sprinkled cookies.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted Italian wife of

sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table,

landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth, seemingly

bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.....

"Back off!" she said, "They're for the funeral."

 

 

Ukranian version 2004

 

An elderly Ukrainian man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite Ukrainian perogies with fried onions wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom and, with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he

crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Where, if not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table was literally hundreds of his favourite perogies. Was it heaven?

Or was it one final act of heroic love from his Ukrainian wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a crumpled posture. His parched lips parted, the wondrous taste of the perogies was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered man trembled on his way to the perogies at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a wooden spoon by his wife.

"F'k off!" she said. "They're for the funeral."

 

Australian version...

 

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Aussie wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture. His aged and withered hand trembled towards a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a spatula....."Clear off" she said, "they're for the funeral."

 

Jamaican version 2004...

 

An elderly Jamaican man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite Jamaican pastry, 'Gizzada' wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength,

and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping therailing with both hands, he crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.

Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon waxed paper on the kitchen table were literally dozens of 'Gizzadas'. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of

heroic love from his devoted wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture. His parched

lips parted, the wondrous taste of the 'Gizzada' was already in his mouth, seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand trembled on its way to a 'Gizzada' at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a 'dutch-pot' by his wife......

"Move yu back-side!" she said, "Dem ya a fe you funeral."

 

 

and countless other racial diverse and older versions are available....

[galaxyman73]

:23: :16: :16: lol there class wich ever way .....lol :lol:

[big_kev]

Ignore Mr Grumpy .....the schools must be off and his mum's let him stop up late.

[Bigjeeze]

cut'n'paste humor is usually just as funny the twenty third time of reading it but after a few years the novelty wears off

 

 

and countless other racial diverse and older versions are available....

 

 

How true - but then if you spend a large proportion of your free time and life looking for these things to score a point that has no point, well it seems pretty pointless to me. I laughed - a few others did - so I got the correct result - Not politically, but the one I wanted.