Tools

[Bigjeeze]

Mick was in court for a double murder and the judge said, 'You are charged

with beating your wife to death with a spanner.'

 

A voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, 'You b*stard!'

 

The judge continued, 'You are also charged with beating your daughter to

death with a spanner.'

 

Again the voice at the back of the courtroom yelled out, 'You Fu*king

b*stard!!!'

 

The judge stopped, looked at the man in the back of the court room, and

said, 'Herbert, I can understand your anger and frustration at this crime, but

I will not have any more of these outbursts from you or I shall charge you

with contempt! Now what is the problem?'

 

Herbert, at the back of the court stood up and responded, 'For fifteen years

I've lived next door to that b*stard and every time I asked to borrow a

fu*king spanner, he said he didn't have one!'

[Bigjeeze]

A little old lady is walking down the street, dragging two plastic bin bags,

one in each hand. There's a hole in one of the bags and once in a while a

 

[JohnR]

There's a bag of tools you wouldn't want to borrow!