Essex Girl

[Biscuit]

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang. It was

> her boyfriend,

> urgently warning her, 'Treacle, I just heard on the news that there's a

> car going the

> wrong way on the A13. Please be careful!'

> 'It's not just one car!' said the Essex girl, 'There's effing hundreds

> of them!

 

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's Blood

> everywhere. The

> paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till she's lying

> flat out on the

> ground.

> Medic: 'OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.'

> Sharon : 'Ok.'

> Medic: 'How many fingers am I putting up?'

> Sharon : 'Oh my god, I'm paralysed from the waist down!'

 

 

 

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices

> something

> strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says, 'Scuse me

> mate, I ain't

> being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your wellies 'ave an L on it

> and the uva

> one's got an R on it?'

> The Irish guy smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,

> 'Well, I'm a little

> bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me right foot and the

> one wit the L

> is for me Left foot'

> 'Cor blimey', exclaims the Essex girl, 'So THATS why me knickers 'ave

> got C&A on

> them!'