Call Me

[Bigjeeze]

It's common practice to ring a telephone by signalling extra voltage across one side of the two wire circuit and earth in England. When the subscriber answers the phone, it switches to the two wire circuit for the conversation. This method allows two parties on the same line to be signalled without disturbing each other.

 

Anyway, an elderly lady with several pets called to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked first. The telephone engineer proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog.

 

He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialled the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring. He tried again. The dog barked loudly, followed by a ringing telephone.

 

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

a. A dog was tied to the telephone system's earth post via an iron chain and collar.

b. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signalling current.

c. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinating on the ground.

d. The wet ground now completed the circuit and the phone would ring. Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.

 

[mk2vr6]

well we all know thats total crap!

 

a. the call center in India would first off take your details then run a line test and contact you three days later to tell you that there was a problem with the line and we have now fixed it and can we help you with anything else?

 

b. an engineer attended site! how many weeks after the call was logged did that happen? the old dear was probably dead or moved into a home by the time the engineer actually got there or had totally forgot about it and was telling the postman about the time she and the sailor home on leave were behind the shelter on the high street the night when the jerry's bombed the co-op...ooh they were the good old days.....

 

c. the dog was tied to the pole with an iron chain and collar! very unlikely! some thieving diddy scum had had that away and weighed it in along with the bronze plates he got from the local memorial garden round the back of the local cremartorian

 

d. cure the problem by peeing on it! well to start off with, there's the risk assement for handling waste materials, then there's the hot working permit for live voltages, then the hazardous waste disposal and clean up operation ... shall we continue?