A Rabbit Walks Into A Pub .......

[Smilge]

Apologies to anyone who has heard this before .....

 

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of

beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?". The barman is amazed but gives the

rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks

the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

 

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of

Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit

and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit

the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

 

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint

of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman". The crowd is hushed

as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into

applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

 

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have

been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more

money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and

says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman", smiling

and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, "I'm sorry

rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese

Toasties".

 

The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper,

when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very

nice Cheese and Onion Toastie". The rabbit looks him in the eye and says,

"Are you sure I will like it?" The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly

silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says "Do you think that I would

let down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it". "Ok" says the

rabbit," I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie". The

pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie,

he then waves to the crowd and leaves....

 

.....NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

 

One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who

has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he

is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating

above the bar. The barman says, "Who are you" To which he is answered,

"I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house".

The barman says, "I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in

every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses came

to see you and this place was famous" The rabbit says, "Yes I know". The

barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and

Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead" The rabbit

said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it". The barman said "You never

came back, what happened?"

 

"I DIED", said the Rabbit.

 

"NO!" said the barman,

[big_kev]

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

 

 

 

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.

 

 

A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer, please."

The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of your head."

 

 

A little pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks.

He finishes them and the bartender says, "Don't you want to know where the toilet is?"

The pig says, "No, thanks, I go wee-wee-wee all the way home."

 

 

A skeleton walks into a bar.

The bartender asks, "What'll you have?"

The skeleton says, "Give me a beer, and a mop."

 

 

A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs and swings him around in a circle.

The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what are you doing?"

And the blind man says, "Don't mind me. I'm just looking around."

 

 

big_kev walks into a bar and orders a drink.

He looks in his pocket and orders another drink, looks in his pocket and orders still another drink.

His curiosity aroused, the bartender asks, "What are you doing? What's in your pocket?"

And big_kev says, "It's a picture of my wife, when she starts looking good to me, I know it's time to go home."

[mumof4]

Gawd ;) Is it joke week this week?? :D

[AndeeeH]

Apologies to anyone who has heard this before .....

 

A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman "Can I have a pint of

beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?". The barman is amazed but gives the

rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks

the beer and eats the toastie, he then leaves.

 

The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a Pint of

Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit

and the extra drinkers in the pub (because word gets round) gives the rabbit

the pint and the toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.

 

The next night, the pub is packed, in walks the rabbit and says "A pint

of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman". The crowd is hushed

as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie and then burst into

applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.

 

The next night there is standing room only in the pub, coaches have

been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending, the barman is making more

money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and

says, "A Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman", smiling

and accepting the tributes of the masses. The barman says, "I'm sorry

rabbit, old mate, old mucker but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese

Toasties".

 

The rabbit looks aghast, the crowd has quietened to almost a whisper,

when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, "We do have a very

nice Cheese and Onion Toastie". The rabbit looks him in the eye and says,

"Are you sure I will like it?" The masses bated breath is ear shatteringly

silent. The barman, with a roguish smile says "Do you think that I would

let down one of my best friends, I know you'll love it". "Ok" says the

rabbit," I'll have a Pint of Beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie". The

pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie,

he then waves to the crowd and leaves....

 

.....NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!

 

One year later in the now impoverished public house, the barman (who

has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his) calls time. When he

is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating

above the bar. The barman says, "Who are you" To which he is answered,

"I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house".

The barman says, "I remember you, you made me famous, you would come in

every night and have a Pint of Beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, masses came

to see you and this place was famous" The rabbit says, "Yes I know". The

barman said, "I remember, on your last night we didn't have any Ham and

Cheese Toasties, you had a Cheese and Onion one instead" The rabbit

said "Yes, you promised me that I would love it". The barman said "You never

came back, what happened?"

 

"I DIED", said the Rabbit.

 

"NO!" said the barman,