Doctor, Doctor Jokes.....come On, There Must Be Hundreds

[JohnR]

Patient: Doctor, doctor, I'm having trouble removing these new cling-film trousers!

Doctor: Hmmmm....I can clearly see you're nuts!

[El Dingo]

Doctor, Doctor

 

There's a steering wheel on the end of my willy, and it's driving me nuts...

[Bigjeeze]

Doctor Doctor I can't stop singing The Green Green Grass of home - is that normal - "It's not unusual!"

[JohnR]

Guys,

I'm sure you can do much better than this.... here's a few more:-

 

Doctor, Doctor Have you got something for a bad headache?

Of course. Just take this hammer and hit yourself in the head. Then you'll have a bad headache.

 

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee

Have you tried taking the spoon out ?

 

Doctor, Doctor I keep seeing double.

Please sit on the couch.

Which one !

 

Doctor, Doctor I need something to keep my falling hair in

What about a matchbox !

 

Doctor, Doctor I

[JohnR]

Doctor, doctor, my husband thinks I'm mad because I like kippers.

That's nonsense. I like kippers too.

 

Really? You must come round and see my collection!

[JohnR]

Doctor Doctor I swallowed a bone

Are you choking ?

No, I really did !

 

Doctor, Doctor I've just swallowed a pen

Well sit down and write your name !

 

Doctor, doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet

Well don't point him at anyone until I get there !

 

Doctor, Doctor my little boy has just swallowed a roll of film.

Well lets just wait and see if anything develops !

 

Doctor, Doctor my son has swallowed my pen, what should I do?

Use a pencil

[JohnR]

Patient: Doctor, doctor, there's a knot in my penis!

Witch doctor: How come?