Touche

[Davetheref]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so

much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have

never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

 

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into

bed.

 

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel

like it, I just want you to hold me."

 

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

 

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me

to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look

by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in

the bedroom?"

 

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

 

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with

her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big

unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on

several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to

take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to

compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We

went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond

earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was

one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because

she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play

tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier."

 

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel

like it."

 

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled

WHAT?"

 

I then said, "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're

just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy

your shopping needs as a woman."

 

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

 

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[gregers]

:( :rolleyes:

wonder if any bloke would be brave enough to try this.......

[mumof4]

Go on then gregsy..dare yer..in fact double dare yer!!

 

 

 

By the way, what flowers you want at yer funeral once they find all the body parts????:rolleyes:

[gregers]

NO BLOODY WAY IM FAR TO MUCH OF A COWARD,

 

anyway there wont be any parts to find :lol:

[big_kev]

I totally agree with Dave on this one.

 

By the way....he hasn't posted anything since......you think his wifie may have read it ?

[Davetheref]

I totally agree with Dave on this one.

 

By the way....he hasn't posted anything since......you think his wifie may have read it ?

 

 

No chance. My wife would have problems switching on my computer, let alone reading this forum. :lol: