Nursery Rhymes

[Smilge]

Just for the older generation to keep abreast of what rhymes they are teaching in pre-schools today

 

Mary had a little pig,

She kept it fat and plastered;

And when the price of pork went up,

She shot the little *******.

 

***

 

MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB

Her father shot it dead.

Now it goes to school with her,

Between two hunks of bread.

 

***

 

JACK AND JILL Went up the hill

To have a little fun.

Stupid Jill forgot the pill

And now they have a son.

 

***

 

SIMPLE SIMON met a Pie man going to the fair.

Said Simple Simon to the Pie man,

"What have you got there?"

Said the Pie man unto Simon,

"Pies, you Dumb Ass"

 

***

 

HUMPTY DUMPTY sat on a wall,

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

All the kings' horses,

And all the kings' men.

Had scrambled eggs,

For breakfast again.

 

***

 

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,

All over the bedside clock.

The little dog laughed to see such fun.

Then died of electric shock.

 

***

 

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

And when the boys came out to play,

He kissed them too 'cause he was gay

 

***

 

There was a little girl who had a little curl

Right in the middle of her forehead.

When she was good, she was very, very good.

But when she was bad........

She got a fur coat, jewels, a waterfront condo, and a sports car.

__________________

Mary had a little skirt

with slits right up the sides

and everytime she crossed her legs

the boys could see her thighs

 

Mary had another skirt

with a slit right up the front ...

 

but she didn't wear that one very often

 

Old mother hubbard went to the cupboard to get rover a bone,

mother bent over,

rover took over,

and gave her a bone of her own..

 

 

Mary had a little lamb

She tied it to a pylon

10,000 volts went up its bum

And turned its wool to nylon

 

 

hickory dickory dock

three mice ran up the cock

the clock struck one

the other two got away with minor injuries!

Edited September 19, 2007 by Bleeno

[gregers]

:) :43: :43: very good