Amazing Discovery!

[Smilge]

Amazing discovery Posted: Thu Mar 22, 2007 5:23 pm

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

 

The new element has been named "Governmentium."

 

Governmentium has 1 Neutron, 12 Deputy Neutrons, 75 Assistant Neutrons and 224 Deputy Assistant Neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called Morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of Lepton-like particles called Peons.

 

Since Governmentium has no protons or electrons, it is inert however, it can be detected because it impedes every action with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium will cause any reaction or process, no matter how rapid or energetic, to take 28 days to complete.

 

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 5 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a constant structural change in which a portion of the Assistant Neutrons and Deputy Neutrons exchange places at random. Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time since the structural changes cause more Peons to be created, Morons to become Deputy Assistant Neutrons, etc whilst the unpromoted particles do not vanish but become static Isodopes of their original form.

 

This characteristic of endless Peon creation and particle promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium will implode leaving no trace whenever Morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass." However, when a near-critical morass of Governmentium is catalysed with sufficient amounts of money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element which, although slightly lighter than Governmentium, has the unique ability to absorb huge amounts of energy to no observable effect.

 

It is practically indestructable and defies all known means of change. To get it to move is extremely difficult, but once moving, it is nearly impossible to stop or get it to change direction. Although research continues, this is thought to be due to Administratium constantly reducing the number of Peons by half but at the same time doubling the number of Morons, Deputy Assistant Neutrons and Assistant Neutrons.

[El Dingo]

That's really good, Bleeno. :lol:

Amazingly accurate, too. I've been involved with Administratium in the past, and can testify that this is exactly how it reacts.

 

Have you heard about bureaucratium, which can only be found if isolated in an office, and has the remarkable ability to move paper about with little effect. Bureaucratium is itself unmoveble when electrons are held locally, but can be increased dramatically in size when electrons are removed from Europium. Bureaucratium is also incredibly absorbent, being able to soak up huge amounts of the energy removed from the universe by Governmentium.

 

Bureaucratium can be split into sub-politic particles called Quarks (sometimes also called Quorns). These are called: Up-its-own-ar3e, down-the-pan, top-o-the-mornin, bottom-feeder, strange-but-true and charmed-life.

Edited March 23, 2007 by El Dingo

[mumble_bee]

that was excellent,

[AndeeeH]

Bureaucratium can be split into sub-politic particles called Quarks (sometimes also called Quorns). These are called: Up-its-own-ar3e, down-the-pan, top-o-the-mornin, bottom-feeder, strange-but-true and charmed-life.

 

 

Surely a bottom-feeder would be in an Aquarium :lol: Andy.

[El Dingo]

Bureaucratium can be split into sub-politic particles called Quarks (sometimes also called Quorns). These are called: Up-its-own-ar3e, down-the-pan, top-o-the-mornin, bottom-feeder, strange-but-true and charmed-life.

 

 

Surely a bottom-feeder would be in an Aquarium :lol: Andy.

 

Strange, but true. :(