gerrypm

'Sixty is the worst age to be,' said the 60-year-old man. 'You always feel like you have to pee and most of the time you stand there and nothing comes out.' 'Ah, that's nothing,' said the 70-year-old. 'When you're seventy, you don't have a bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothing comes out!' 'Actually,' said the 80-year -old, 'Eighty is the worst age of all.' 'Do you have trouble peeing, too?' asked the 60-year old. 'No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a flat rock; no problem at all.' 'So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?' 'No, I have one every morning at 6:30.' Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, 'You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what's so bad about being 80?' 'I don't wake up until 7:00

You're right, funny, but it is a hoax.

Good footage, But I don't think he used a professional Formula 1 racer, that was just to fool the Police. It must have a Taxi driver, they all drive like that in Paris.!

A quote from an unhappily-married man A stock-market trader said:

I have decided to trade in my Galaxy. We have two cars and my wife has taken early retirement, so we have traded in both cars for a Honda Jazz. I know that there is no comparison between the Jazz and the Galaxy. But, the Jazz did come in at No 2 in the JD Power 2008. Plus it also helps in our carbon footprint, but I am seriously going to miss the Galaxy. I am also going to miss the forum, although I didn't contribute much, it was haven of information and good humour. Perhaps I may be allowed to pop in now and then. Regards, Gerry.

How many forum members does it take to change a lightbulb? ---------------------------------------------------------- 1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed. 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently. 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 1 to move it to the Lighting section. 2 to argue then move it to the Electricals section. 7 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 5 to flame the spell checkers. 3 to correct spelling/grammar flames. 6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb" ... another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid. 2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp". 15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light bulb" is perfectly correct. 19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take this discussion to a lightbulb forum. 11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum. 36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique and what brands are faulty. 7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs. 4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the corrected URL's. 3 to post about links they found from the URL's that are relevant to this group which makes light bulbs relevant to this group. 5 people to hotlink to pictures of lightbulbs hosted on geocities. 6 people to complain about dead images. 3 people to tell them to right click the image and copy the URL into another window. 13 to read all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all headers, images and signatures, and add "I agree". 5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot handle the light bulb controversy. 4 to say "didn't we go through this already a short time ago?". 13 to say "do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about light bulbs". 1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and start it all over again. .

You have to be old enough to remember Abbott and Costello, and too old to REALLY understand computers, to fully appreciate this. For those of us who sometimes get flustered by our computers, please read on... If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today, their infamous sketch, "Who's on First?" might have turned out something like this: COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou. ABBOTT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOTT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou. ABBOTT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here? ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows? ABBOTT: Wallpaper. COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software. ABBOTT: Software for Windows? COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything? ABBOTT: I just did. COSTELLO: You just did what? ABBOTT: Recommend something. COSTELLO: You recommended something? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: For my office? ABBOTT: Yes. COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office? ABBOTT: Office. COSTELLO: Yes, for my office! ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows. COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need? ABBOTT: Word. COSTELLO: What word? ABBOTT: Word in Office. COSTELLO: The only word in office is office. ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows. COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W". COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: I need money to track my money? ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer. COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer? ABBOTT: Money. COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer? ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge. COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much? ABBOTT: One copy. COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money? ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money. COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money? ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT! (A few days later)... ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off? ABBOTT: Click on "START"............

Florida. As reported earlier this week, some dirtbag who got pulled over in a routine traffic stop in Florida ended up "executing" the deputy who stopped him The deputy was shot eight times, including once behind his right ear at close range. Another deputy was wounded and a police dog killed. A statewide manhunt ensued. The low-life was found hiding in a wooded area with his gun. SWAT team officers fired and hit the guy 68 times. Now here's the kicker: Naturally, the media asked why they shot him 68 times. Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd, told the Orlando Sentinel - "That's all the bullets we had." (Talk about an all time classic answer!!!)

Voted the best Australian Joke of 2006 A bloke's wife goes missing while diving off the West Australian coast. He reports the event, searches fruitlessly and spends a terrible night wondering what could have happened to her. Next morning there's a knock at the door and he is confronted by a couple of policemen, the old Sarge and a younger Constable. The Sarge says, "Mate, we have some news for you, unfortunately some really bad news, but, some good news, and maybe some more good news." "Well," says the bloke, "I guess I'd better have the bad news first?" The Sarge says, "I'm really sorry mate, but your wife is dead. Young Bill here found her lying at about five fathoms in a little cleft in the reef. He got a line around her and we pulled her up, but she was dead." The bloke is naturally pretty distressed to hear of this and has a bit of a turn. But after a few minutes he pulls himself together and asks, "what's the good news.......?? The Sarge says, "Well when we got your wife up there were quite a few really good sized crays and a swag of nice crabs attached to her, so we've brought you your share." He hands the bloke a sugar bag with a couple of nice crays and four or five crabs in it. "Geez thanks. They're bloody beauties. I guess it's an ill wind and all that... So what's the other possible good news?" "Well," the Sarge says, "if you fancy a quick trip, me and young Bill here get off duty at around 11 o'clock and we're gonna shoot over there and pull her up again.....!"

I'm quite sure you all mangaged to solve this puzzle. I know I didn't , but here is the answer anyway. http://artlung.com/words/flash-psychic-proof/

Try this strange link ! http://louhi.kempele.fi/~skyostil/archive/...ash/psychic.swf

I know that this is a old thread. I have the same problem, the ball and socket popped out, when I was driving on the outside lane of the motorway in the pouring rain. Been driving about with laggy bands ever since. Thought about oafcowl's idea about drilling straight through the ball and putting a 5mm bolt in it. Took everything off to have a good look. Great idea but is 5mm not too much, you would have to drill very accurately for this. Would this not weaken the ball. Or is the laggy bands the best idea ?

Just returned from our Holidays at the Gairloch, (Highlands) Very pleased with the perfomance our Galaxy 2.0 GLXI 1996. Most of the roads up there are single track, and having the extra height does help. One day we made our way to a lighthouse about 12 miles from Gairloch and the single track turned into as wide as footpath, and at times with twisty and steep inclines over narrow bridges. The Galaxy really perfomed well. Although we travelled over 1000 miles, we were more than happy with the fuel costs. Not to mention the amount of luggage we carried, even the breadmaker came with us, and the Golf clubs ! ! ! Did anyone else have any good or bad holidays with your Galaxy, or did you fly to pastures new ! !

I'm glad that everyone, like me , enjoys driving their Galaxy. I never tried the car boot sale before, but reading the replies, has made me think. Our children are 15 and 22 and we have great deal of items we no longer use. I will keep my eye open for the next local car booty. Who knows we can declutter and make some money as well. :blink:

I have owned my Galaxy, for about 2 months and have my share of problems. Mainly electrical, but nothing compared to some of the members in the forum. Why then do people actually want to own one ??? My wife has a Nissan Almera, and nothing goes wrong with that car, it fly's past all the services and MOT's. So why own a Galaxy ??? Well, when I drive the Nissan, I can't wait to drive the Galaxy, there is no comparison. The way it handles itself, and the comfortable driving position. We can stop hand have picnic without feeling cramped. The storage capacity is second to none. My youngest son play the cello, so the space is great. I could go on longer , but does anyone else think the same?