acombe

Anybody Beat This

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic(gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume in Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over. So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of the theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God." THE STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A"

As no one likes me I will give you the answer W C Fields Syndrome is a reddening of the nose caused by excess Alcohol consumption ,

Which Hollywood Star has a medical condition named after him ?

It was right then that she stood on his oxygen tube .

I will bet you 10 million quid we don't !!!

A barman in San Francisco had a regular customer at 4 o clock every weekday. He was a doctor who worked across the street at the General Hospital. Every day as regular as clockwork he would walk in and ask for a hazelnut daquiri . so this day a 3.45 p.m the man started making his drink , he reached for the hazel nut essence that was at the heart of this concoction , to his horror he found the small brown bottle was empty , Panic stations he knel down and right at the back of the cupbord he found a bottle of Hickory nut essence . Thinking he wouldn't notice he substituted it. Bang on 4 o'clock the said doctor arrived, I'll have my usual please " the doctor intoned . After taking one sip the Doctor said " This is not a Hazel Nut Daquiri " Down No said the barman " ITS A HICKORY DAQUIRI DOC "

Can I bum a fag Will you help push my stool in !!!!

A candle shop burnt down in a high street today . Nobody helped to put it out They just stood outside singing Happy Birthday !!!!!

NGK Iridiums ? are they the same as Platinums !!!

Needed a Noo Coilpack as a Frod Employee I Could get 60% discount price

If I tell someone a joke more than once I hear it repeated on the radio the following day. The Joke On a hot summer day an ambulance was called to an old woman collapsed at a bus stop . They were surprised that she was suffering from Hypothermia . It turned out she had stolen a frozen chicken from Iceland and stuffed it down her front. And the bus was 2 hours late !!!!!

Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it

Have you noticed that the phrase " Credit Crunch " trips off everybodies tongue these days . It is not a " Credit Crunch " it is credit theft !!!

5 ) Christmas Day war a racehorse that fell at a meeting on Boxing Day